Online Dating

Been there. It doesn’t do anything good apart from creating the illusion you’re having faster access, better matches, whatsoever. Apart from that you’ll get the bonus to realise that those plenty of likes you’ve been receiving are scammers from overseas.

Use the free version(s) or go out in the wild. It’s as easy as that.

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Fair counter point! Never did pay it mself. I just assumed it was easier…

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Marketing is clever and powerful, isn’t it?! :grin:

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It’s only as cringy as most dudes make it so maybe you brought the cringe?

…ha ha…i had second thoughts while i was using the word “cringe”…since it’s such a modern peak political correctness term, usually in heavy use by the millenials…

and here i am, realizing, me, as a full blown early gen x’er, totally oldschool gentleman like, natural born awareness full on guy in all kinds of my relationships, eversince and long before all that what became “cringe” was finally adressed as a real issue, should not use modern expressions like that…

but since our reproduction impulses by nature also became a business in this new age of information, i can hardly tell what’s cringe and what’s not…too old for this.

…i will find the last big love of my life not in a club…and also not on the net…

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No that’s not true at all… you will in fact find your last true love at the place you least expect it! Like in line for a covid booster or while water skiing in the Maldives.

I’ve been on dating sites only a few times, dating through conventional means gave me some interesting experiences and met a few wonderful people, but for the most part my brain works better with meeting people through activities and events and getting good sense of them over trying to construct pictures through profiles and the awkward busy-ness and low-spoons in life. Especially as an adult.

With my structured thinking, I think people who have issues with their resumes or dating profiles would do well to have trusted and reliable friends (those who know you best) champion you with zero bullshit.

People are often bad at marketing themselves and figuring out how people may broadly respond to whatever points of identity. Not to where I’d ever suggest someone mask who they are, their identity, how their brain works, but sometimes the internal language needs to engage with the outside world…

I always saw that as basically setting arbitrary roadblocks to using whatever app instead of creating some alternate version of the app where you “unlock” a fake portion of the ecosystem.

Of course there’s additional gamification to it all to keep up the subscriptions and add-ons, but I’d be curious to hear more about your take on whatever Tinder/Bumble algorithms and paid tiers.

I’m not theoretically against them but I have no practical experience to really build a model of each algorithm and the promise/actuality.

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Candid photos + a slightly self deprecating brief description = recipe for a potential recipe for love.

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Always a good start, for time’s sake and avoiding some fair fundamental incompatibilities sometimes best to put out a few passive filters without burning a lot of potentials that could be turned off by perceived “negativity”.

It can be tough for some to get tone right there.

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The one thing that no human being should do if they want to meet someone interesting and nice is to use a photo of themselves caught in some joyful jump on the beach or with their sick granny in the hospital.

…o…o…use free versions !?..no good advice…
first rule and by now already the oldest rule of all, in this new times…is the product for free, U are the product…

no wonder, u found urself liked more by bots and scams than real people… @B_LD :wink:

and what the heck are the odds against me finding the last big love of my life, if i’m not into boosters and will never water ski in this lifetime…!?

so, no club, no app, no covid, no luxury ressorts…hmmmmm…i knew, it ain’t easy…but that’s narrowing down my chances quite a lot…hmmmpf…

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The bocce court is a pretty good place for romance as well.

It’s even worse these days. You/we are always the product no matter if we are charged for a service or not. Unless … we break the rules/the system and resist - or take measures to stay mostly anonymous.

By the way: All my past relationships of the last 10-15 years started online. Now you tell me about bots. :wink:

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I met my girlfriend, who I live with and have a daughter with, through online dating.

It can be an awkward and odd experience until it’s not and then you know there might be something there ;).

I think one tip I can give is to find the right platform that you feel comfortable with. For example I never liked the idea of dating apps with swiping left/right because it’s just too focused on how a person looks in that one picture you see rather then getting an idea of who he/she really is. So I chose a website that focused more on profiles and with a bit more depth then simply “scrolling” through tens of pictures a day. And another thing was that the website was focused on relationships and not so much a quick and easy way of finding a one night stand type of thing.

So, finding the right website is key imho. It can work well :slight_smile:

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Dove into them head first a month or 2 ago, after holding out all these years. In the past I easily rolled into relations IRL but it seems that luck 's over (temporarily?).

I’m approaching it with a kind of sociological research eye: what’s this about? How does it work? What are the customs/language/etc? And basically don’t take it too seriously and have some fun at it. Met about 5 ladies through it so far. Nothing came of it yet.

I’m 41. My 29 year old friend and dating app veteran is ‘coaching’ me (basically we have some fun discussing my matching and dating adventures, my profile, etc). Her best advice: “Don’t take it seriously. Only do it while shitting.” (I must confess I’ve been taking it more seriously than that.)

Finding the app with the right public and mechanics is key as mentioned already. Tried 4 apps so far. Stopped using 2 so still on 2. I like eccentric and non-conformist people and there are apps that gather that crowd, while others are ultra mainstream. If you’re into deviant genders, kinks etc there are apps tuned to that too.

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Anyone dare to post their profile here? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Just look at Twitter!

Paying won’t mean that Musk won’t manipulate what you see, a tiered hierarchy of who gets Free Speech and who doesn’t (unrelated to his plans for $8chan) and he’ll be selling your data to whatever Thiel-owned data mining operation.

Isn’t this a dating site? TBH I’ve even considered Bumble BFF to meet people with similar interests when most of my very lovely friends like “the technos” but have negative interest in knowing how the… Berlin Atonal sausage is made.

I met my spouse on meetups for a site and met the prior longer-term partner on a webforum.

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I’m gonna start an app for dawless jammers. Don’t steal my idea.

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does sound pretty kinky and niche, let’s be honest.

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same.

lots of heavily filtered photos, fake age, and all that stuff.
also, never sure how to start a conversation, and whether it keeps the other side entertained.

all these issues just don’t exist IRL.
so i never rely on dating sites/apps.

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