The chicks dig a well toned man in the profile pic
3 Likes
Personally I enjoyed it. I liked being able to meet people from all different sorts of backgrounds. And for a sober introvert like me, I didn’t have to leave my couch until something really connects. I met some wonderful people through it who later became friends and sometimes more.
But it can be a weird scene, no question. I mean you put all kinds of people and their respective dispositions on an internet platform with the sole intention of hooking up and its going to get weird. Especially when cishet men are involved.
As someone said, its a numbers game, keep swiping, youll find some diamonds.
But also consider joining some hobby groups, get active in your community. That has the potential to be much more fulfilling.
Good luck! DM me if you want to discuss it more.
6 Likes
I don‘t have much experience, it felt very strange when making an account, but I was lucky enough to find the diamond almost right away.
I guess it has its ugly sides, but on the other hand - drunk in bar pick up tries can have their ugly sides as well.
7 Likes
thanks everyone. I can tell patience is going to be key. I appreciate the answers. It really is weird for someone who met all of his old g/fs in bars to now be sober and trying to get back out there with no skills lol
But at the same time, I’ve finally gotten my life together and I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to just focus on me, if that makes sense? I’ve focused on just myself for 5 years, because it was necessary. Now I want more.
7 Likes
When I moved into an apartment together with my then girlfriend, I only had a bunch of pocket operators and an OP-Z. She watched me get a few keyboards, a few grooveboxes, a mixer, a patchbay, a MIDI patchbay, a few controllers and a sequencer… and yet she agreed to become my wife.
That said, if I had paid American prices for the vintage gear, she would have thought twice.
1 Like
Wishing you good luck. Everyone’s story is different. I met the live of my life through mutual friends 18 years ago. We met at a time we were both done with dating (a stalker kinda helped with that) but something clicked between us despite living on opposite ends of the country. We took a chance and never looked back, thankfully.
Knowing you’re ready to take interest in someone else is a good place to be I hope you find someone who’s in that same mindset.
Have fun in the process. The idea of internet dating scares the hell out of me, but I’ve got nothing but respect for all those that try. Almost everyone I know in NYC has met their loves through dating apps and they’re all still happy.
1 Like
“You see, LFO stands for low frequency oscillator…which is basically a sound wave, but you don’t use that wave to actually make your sound…what you do is use your selected wave shape (if you’re lucky you can pick from a few types) of said LFO to modulate a parameter (or parameters!!) of the sound you’re actually generating in the audible range (but don’t get me started on audio rate modulation)…anyway, wanna make out or like what’s up?”
7 Likes
tinder is a hellhole, but you might get lucky and scoop someone who recently signed up as long as your main pic includes your abs and your bio mentions fishing
I’ve met both my ex and my current (of 7 years now) boyfriend though online dating, and also one of my very best friends, so it definitely can work.
I guess my advice would be to be aware that it can take a lot of time and luck before you find a person you click with, and even then that doesn’t mean you have found the one. So try to keep in mind, that it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, if it takes a lot of time and seemingly go nowhere. (Your desirability on a dating site does not equal your worth as a person.)
8 Likes
Speaking as someone who’s been there, it is very, very weird. It might feel super awkward at first and you might stumble and trip right out of the gate, but rest assured that over time, with patience, and most importantly being kind with yourself, you will find your new groove. Youve put in the work to better yourself and thatll come to feel natural in no time.
And whatever you do do not mention or include anything about fish (@Encephalitislerthargi lol)
2 Likes
I’m too underclass and older to date lol it is what it is. Good luck. im sure you will do well.
3 Likes
…dating apps…totally normal thing for millenials and gen z…
totally cringe for all the rest…
dunno which gen u are, but if u get some dating profile of urs started, u better know which dating app suits u best…
expectations are the problem…so, u better have none to rise the chances u’ll end up surprised in a positive way…
but be ready for rejection, be ready for too much, too close, total match, not matching at all and anything inbetween…
aaaand be ready to add a new daily habit to ur life, since u will check on daily bases, once ur out there…
a friend of mine talked me into it and she took care i was suddenly ok stupid with ok cupid…so for 3 month…and after 3 dates, i had to delete myself again…
i’m simply gen x and i like to get to know a person the oldschool way…
if u wanna give it a try, i suggest this bamble/bumble? app…that one, where males promote themselves, but it’s only up to females to take a first step in contacting…
3 Likes
yeah, profiles are now an invested sales pitch to present yourself in your best (fake) light. i think hinge may be the most commonly used, i like the fact they include audio recordings and the idea of sharing a full on drone as a lure makes me chuckle. i guess the more honest you are the more chance you’ll connect with someone who appreciates that honesty.
i don’t want to be too negative about it, but any successful relationship i’ve had in last 10 years (using the app simultaneously) was initiated from a real life (work/pub/random interaction) connection and not a laboured digital back and forth, building up to finding out you’re not actually attracted to the real person.
Pheromones are the missing secret sauce and once big tech can install a scent squirter dispenser next to your front facing camera it’ll make things easier. Digitising body odour and then back into a biological compound is the next big tech breakthrough for online dating. i should copyright “Swipe and Sniff” as an app.
11 Likes
despite hating tinder, i am still with the person i met on there 8+ years ago. had to sift through some real nonsense for a month or two though. that was when tinder was more common, before bumble or whatever the kids use
it’s kind of an amalgamation of all the worst parts of post-social media youth culture in one place. the problem is that it makes everyone kind of vapid and desensitized. women who have been meeting up with strangers for the last few years will be understandably very critical of you because they get a thousand matches a day and you get maybe 5 if you swipe right indiscriminately
3 Likes
I met my wife on an online dating platform some 15 years ago, and we celebrate out copper 12,5year aniversary next week, YAY!. A disclaimer for my advice is hence that i have not been on those platforms since, so take my advice with a grain of salt as it is pre-tinder and probably a bit antiquated to how things work now.
Something we found that we both had done in our dating-profiles was to accentuate stuff we would like to meet up and share with other people. (no not dirty stuff but things like academia and music). I feel it somehow downplayed the popularity-contest-meat-market aspects that you find people and talk about your nerdy sides instead of hiding those things away… if that strategy “works well” as a way to find a partner i’m not too sure. It was a chain of unlikely events that made us meet up IRL… so yeah these things are complex. What i am trying to say is that if you are to meet random people then why not find some random people who would actually enjoy talking about LFO’s, indie music or heideggerian philosophy?
those were my antiquated 2cents
10 Likes
I’m gonna update my profiles to this (although it’ll say “techno” rather than “indie music”).
1 Like
Its not antiquated. It still very much applies. People who are looking for more than ONS will almost very likely fill out their bios with something. Cause, you know, toys don’t have personalities.
All the platforms have their own personalities too. OK Cupid is for the “weirdos”, Tinder is more catch-all, Bumble…Bumble I find very different between EU/US…I loved it in the EU…US was kind of conservative tbh.
2 Likes
I hated Bumble. When I used it (male, man, he/him) all it showed me was women’s faces (or men and women’s faces when I told it I was bi). I couldn’t tell if I wanted to talk to any of the people. I don’t want to be judged only on my photo. Maybe it’s changed since.
The bigger ones (Match, OKC, eharmony) are owned by one or two large companies now. It creeps me out how the incentive for a large company to run a dating service is opposite from the incentive of the people using the service. The owner wants people to not find matches and to keep using the service.
[edit, 'cos I added this bit after a couple of you added “likes”]: I’ve been telling myself all year to start a practice of explicitly letting my more social friends know that I’m looking for dates. The hope there is that they’ll recommend me to their friends. The longer term hope is that we all start doing this for one another. It’s interesting how I feel resistance to this plan (within myself). I don’t have a name for it…
4 Likes
Kids these days check each other out over socials and like and comment and DM. As an elder-millennial, I find that creepy af. But, anyway, thats how they do 
But, yeah, friends of friends, hobby groups, community activism…all a lot better.
If you’re gonna be relying on dating apps, its probably best to pay the premium. Saves a lot of time, energy and mental health.
But, definitely, its sick how theyve commodified and distorted our relationships with other humans.
4 Likes