Imposter Syndrome in Music

The Lounge General Discussion
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So, I’ve had a bit of an ego-based mental breakdown in my music creation.

This thread, I suppose, is the final point of that.

The question is: how does one know that they’re good at making music?

Before it was a pillgramage towards the artists I admire. Then it became to make every finite detail of a track intentional.

Then…the Spotify plays dwindled with each new creation.

I then pulled everything off of every streaming platform and put everything behind a massive pay wall in a desperate attempt to make my art become valuable- at least to me.

If, on occasion, someone says im talented- I feel a guilt because I KNOW how I created my tracks(and the occasional luck of randomness that created them)

Its not some holy vision that makes the final track- its luck. Or maybe they’re only saying nice things because friendship.

Is the pilgrimage not over? Am I wrong in everything? Does any if this even matter?

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No.

A) do you enjoy making music? If yes, keep doing it, if no, stop.
Done.
Everything else is irrelevant.

Subjective things like ‘good at’ yeah, leave that alone, that’s for other people to worry about.

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That sounds simple enough, but what am I to pursue? Should I devote my time to yahtzee?

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Dont ask me, what are you into? What makes you want to do more of it? If yahtzee gives you the raging horn fucking go for it, not my place or anyone elses to tell you what to chase.

You dont have to be good at something to love doing it, you just need the love doing it bit.

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I went through a phase of this at the start of a pretty heavy period of writers block.

Spent ages worrying about whether or not tracks were any good, got stuck in a rut making music I didn’t really like because I thought that’s what other people would want to hear.

Then I thought about all the no talent arse clowns grifting a living making shit music and realised that it doesn’t really matter whether my music is good or bad, as long as I’m having a good time making it. I think this realisation came to me after playing a few gigs where my far less accessible music was getting a far better reaction as my enthusiasm is what matters, not my quality.

That’s all music is about really, enthusiasm, energy and enjoyment. Subjective things like quality don’t even register beyond the anxiety dreams of the artist.

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My point that I’m trying to make is:

Enjoyment isn’t enough. Its not all about pleasure.

Its about imperative. A man needs a mission to pursue. The music stresses me out, but it feels holy to pursue- but I might just be tilting at windmills, and id rather not do that publicly

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I knew I could count on you for sage advice :slightly_smiling_face:

How do you handle that creeping perfectionism in your more natural work?

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So why are you doing it?

Cant speak for anyone else, but I make music because its fun, and it makes me happy. I like setting myself a challenge (make an album) and then completing that challenge. But not at the expense of fun and happy.

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This is difficult to answer because I’m tempted to type a long run on sentence repeating the words me and I a bunch of times, but I really feel like you need a streamlined slap to the face as opposed to the “here’s another persons experience”.

So here’s what I got, friendship aside: Unless you’ve clearly defined what it is to be good at making music, the question isn’t relevant to you. If you have an idea what it is to be good at making music and you feel like a fraud because your ego tells you that you can’t do it, work on putting into words what that is, ask yourself if it’s important to you, and if it is important to be those words, then work towards self improvement in that direction.

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Because its a pursuit. A mission.

And without these things I fear emptiness

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My music is shit. Couldn’t give a flying f**k. I like messing with machines and when I’m actually making it I think it’s ace. If I didn’t enjoy the process I would quit.

When I was younger I was much more competitive with myself and wanted to be really good at stuff. Nowadays not so much.

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Ok, so making music makes you feel better than if you were not making music? Am I right?

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I struggle with ego and music myself.
These days I try to accept that music in general is infinitely valuable - or holy, if you will - but that the music making I do myself merely needs to be enjoyable. But I feel like I’m only at the start of this realisation, not at the end of it.

Edit: Really interesting post, btw. I like your honesty.

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If you believe it’s good music, that should be enough.

If you’re not sure whether it’s good enough, well, you do have a mission - getting better. Even if you don’t know exactly how to do that right now.

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I find workflows and methods that don’t allow me to sit and spend hours obsessing over details. Also, I know how long a track should take me to make, if it starts going over that time, I kill it and move on.

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I honestly can’t compute this.

I’ve reached a point where there’s an intention for the conclusion . So its a battle between anxiety vs emptiness

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Thanks :slightly_smiling_face:

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Came here to write this

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when i ‘lack’ the feeling of a goal or mission i start on something else, some kind of side goal: tackle another genre, make a buch of samples, learn reaktor/supercollider/pd… whatever. there is always usefull stuff to do.

if i still lack a goal after that i know i either am way too saturated with music, or have some other emotional distraction going on, or have to start to go running/biking again to clear my mind :slight_smile:

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Thanks🙂

I’m trying to learn video game development, so your advice is cathartic

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