Me to my 2 year old after he broke something: ‘don’t worry, it’s not a big deal’
Him: ‘it’s a small deal’
3 Likes
Dad, you are not allowed to say NO when I want something or I will tell your wife that you hit me and I will cry and make a big drama out of it!
1 Like
Holy shit . I’d consider recording them saying that. And figuring out a way to deal with the mindset 
No worries, his mother (my wife) was standing behind him when he said that. He tries everything to get what he wants, little sweet toddler with a major attitude (sometimes). The worst would be … to give what he wants after he says things like that. Not going to happen 
2 Likes
Hah mine is also manipulative as hell. But what you described is nightmare fodder!
Dropped my eldest daughter of at my partners parents when she was 3yrs, to spend some time with her academic, conservative grandparents…her grandmother though it would be nice to take her to a nearby park. The nearby park had some swings and play equiptment. My daughter was attracted to a piece of play equiptment that was a model of a small car. Her elderly grandmother took her over and sat in the passenger seat as my daughter insisted on driving. After jumping the driver seat my daughter yelled shhhhhhhh at her grandmother then started bashing the horn on the stearing wheel while yelling FUCK! FUCKING, FUCKER…
Mortified her grandmother said “darling what are you doing”?..“driving like mummy” she said and continued to bashed the horn and curse the world…
15 Likes
My 2 year old boy just picked up my wife’s vaseline lip balm, turned to my very pregnant wife and said,
“Mummy, do you want some of this on your chins?”
Comedy gold.
10 Likes
Added to my book of lyrics.
1 Like
4 year old sunny boy aka Casanova.
Dad… is it normal I feel I want to change girlfriend every few weeks?
3 Likes
Took the kids to Go Ape treetop adventure course etc. One gets upset because it’s high and she thinks she’s going to fall despite the harness & rope. The other yells - with quite a few people and staff watching - “it’s fine, just like the playground, and there you don’t have a strap-on”
There’s a moment of silence as all the adults look at each other before the inevitable laughter 
3 Likes
Little Miss Wriggy_b is 2 years old as of last week.
She has a favourite biscuit (gingerbread man) that she refers to a “Ginger man.”
She’s been know to scream “GINGER MAN” in public places, sometimes mid-tantrum - which is now getting me some dirty looks.
At the weekend, Mrs Wriggy_b was following me up some stairs at a beach to get back to the car park. From behind I heard an exasperated “YES, I’ll get you a ginger man!..I’ll get you a gingerbread man.” At a polite distance from the top of the stairs I paused to turn around to find that we were being followed by a family of 5 all with lustrous ginger locks.
1 Like
My 8 year old Son just came into my studio & said “Dad, say I hate happiness without saying the H’s”
Little twit!
2 Likes