This is not a suggestion or endorsement, but something I feel obligated to mention any time Heroin/opiates and/or Buprenorphine comes up. I have seen so many people fall deeper into and fail to even EVER ONCE attempt kicking their opiate addiction because of (a very rational) fear/anxiety regarding withdrawals. People who have done horrible things to avoid ever once truly experiencing serious withdrawals because the (uncomfortable yes, but more so the alarmingly illustrative) early onset symptoms scare them fucking shitless. Buprenorphine is a viable solution. For many, it’s a replacement, and for many, that’s totally acceptable and a vast improvement. For others, it absolutely can become a near identical addiction if abused (worse? I haven’t seen that, personally…) which…well, obviously is a pretty natural thing to occur to many addicts. IF that is not a suitable treatment for you, AND you are so aversive to withdrawals that you can’t quit even when you honest to fuck want to, many people have credited Kratom with aiding them in minimizing WDs either at least enough to be the previously elusive decisive factor, or even for some multi-year addicts without so much as a single 24-48 hours period without a fix (despite the odds and worse, the consequences) I’ve seen it transmute torturous withdrawals into something more alike merely being in a bit of a funk. Not trading the addiction or keeping the kratom habit forever is very difficult for many who use it to kick the real shit, but if that’s the tradeoff - it sure seems like a welcome one from what I’ve seen. Of course, being free of all harmful addictions is the ideal to strive for…but being alive and functional and 95% yourself is a good fucking start vs not being able to answer the question ‘just what the fuck would you actually do for some pills/powder after, say…2 days? Or rather, what wouldn’t you do?’
Tolerance will obviously play a huge role in the viability of its ability to mitigate the absolute hell withdrawals would otherwise bring, and it is absolutely not without downsides and dangers which ALSO can include long term addiction. But, the stakes sure seem DRASTICALLY different across the board (financial, legal (well, aside from my and other ass backwards states and regions), physical, emotional, societal, on career, moral, etc etc.
BUT - Educate YOURSELF. In this era, make sure ANYTHING you take is TRUSTED and “SAFE”/“LEGIT”/WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. Don’t give up. Forgive yourself (and others); try to have some compassion for yourself sprinkled around the incessant self-hatred and loathing and disgust. Find someone you trust, and trust them. Ask for help, and accept help when it’s offered. Dream of something better while also holding the thought that it will ultimately require a sacrifice greater than all you’ve already suffered combined. Find the courage to attempt to claw back to a better life, and be proud of each and every failure, knowing…deep within your being…that every failed attempt signifies a greater display of courage and honor than you likely thought either current you or pre-addiction, past best-self you is/was capable of.
You will fail, likely many, MANY times…but only until the time you don’t.
Please do NOT take my word for it - do the research if you are in need and believe this may be relevant to your plight. I am not a doctor, nor a distributer…I’ve just seen far too much pain and death to not add to the conversation something that I know with absolute certainty has empowered people I love to break free from their life of shame, misery, and their relentless pursuit toward eventual tragedy.