me: I heard you do a terrible owl impression
them: when
me: holy shit, that is bad
16 Likes
How much does a rainbow weigh?
I donāt know but itās pretty light.
12 Likes
After 2 years finally finished writing my new book āThe Clockā
Itās about time.
12 Likes
Zookeeper: this snake is 3.14 meters long
Me: [ way too loud ] A pi-thon
Zookeeper: [ loading a tranquilizer dart ] look away kids
11 Likes
I have been enjoying my new hobby of selectively breeding only the most agile deer with the intention of racing them.
People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.
14 Likes
I have a logic fetish, I canāt stop coming to conclusions.
13 Likes
In 1969, I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
Still Best (George)
10 Likes
Horses that live in a field are less likely to stay in love, because they are not in stable relationships.
8 Likes
Elektron is about to release a Digitakt MK2
1 Like
Hey Kids! Know what the difference is between an oral and an anal thermometer?
The taste!!!
7 Likes
What does Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic Priest not have in common?
ā¦
You know what, nevermind. Iāll save someone the trouble of flagging me.
5 Likes
Cāmon! Iāll Venmo you $5 if you PM me the punchline!
3 Likes
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Reminder
Misogynistic jokes are absolutely not welcome here. Not the slightest.
If you donāt understand why, try to imagine the reaction to a loud racist joke in a public place full of strangers.
What may still be ok in private, with friends that know you, isnāt here.
If you still donāt see what I mean, maybe youāre in the wrong place.
Or need to read this:
11 Likes
Jesus once said āHe who lives by the sword will die by the sword.ā
He was a carpenter who died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a pointā¦
12 Likes
I just read a book about the worlds most luxurious basement, it was a best cellar.
12 Likes
What was first, the chicken or the egg? Thatās the eggsistential question.
1 Like
The cockerel of course.
Incorrectly is spelt incorrectly in every dictionary.
13 Likes