Miserable git has thoughts... "Ableton in a box"

The Lounge General Discussion
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For fuck’s sake…

I was chatting to someone the other day about my new (old, but new) OT mk1 and he was like “oh yeah man, that’s like having Ableton in a box, right?”.

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No.

It’s nothing fucking like Ableton in a box. It’s a fucking Dynamic Performance Sampler. Says it right there above the fucking screen. Doesn’t say that on fucking Ableton, does it, twat.

Besides, Ableton already comes in a box, it’s called a fucking computer, you fucking imbecile. Plus, my laptop is smaller, lighter and way easier to fucking use than a bastard fucking Octatrack. If I wanted Ableton in a box, I’d just fucking buy it and put it on my laptop, like everyone fucking else with half a brain has.

Then I saw them saying that about that bloody Akai Force thing nobody actually likes using (dont argue with me, you know it’s fucking awful). It’s fucking huge. How on Earth is that better than using a fucking laptop?!

“Oh, yeah, but, like, I spend all day looking at a laptop, and , like, you know, I sort of don’t want to look at them anymore…”

Oh poor you and your horrible little clerical job. How about I give the lads down the coal mine a ring, see if they can save you from the horror of having to sit in a fucking chair looking at stuff all day. Doesn’t make any fucking sense, the screen on the OT is fucking tiny, how is squinting at that into the fading light of your fucking existence favourable to a nice, bright, 4k fucking screen with generous viewing angles and, for some reason, many hundred of nits?

Literally everything trying to be Ableton in a box is shit. Even Ableton’s own fucking version of Ableton in a box is shit. It’s fucking huge and everyone ends up spending half their time with it plugged into the fucking computer anyway. Same for that NI fucking oversized fucking Casio watch fucking thing that craps out if you load more than 2 VSTs on it. “Yeah, but Fred Again… used one that one time and it was awesome and I want to be just like Fred Again…, or Skrillex, or that other, older creepy guy that used to be weird that hangs around with them”. Would have sounded better if he’d used fucking Ableton though, right…

JUST USE A FUCKING LAPTOP.

I USE A LAPTOP, IT’S A PIECE OF PISS.

WHY DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO TURN GEAR INTO MUCH LESS EFFICIENT VERSIONS OF A LAPTOP WITH ABLETON ON IT?

ITS WEIRD.

STOP IT.

TWATS.

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Tell us what you really think.

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Do you reckon when coal miners went home they didn’t bother putting on a fire because they couldn’t stand the sight of any more coal?

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I know you people invented the English language, so I try to give you a certain amount of latitude (I still don’t know what “Bob’s your uncle” means and I’ve watched all the Guy Ritchie movies and most of The Crown). But to American ears, this doesn’t sound like an endorsement in any way, shape, or form.

Anyways, I take it your recent repurchase of the Octatrack is not going well…

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Ableton in a box?! What a ridiculous proposition!

Now, Reaper in a box…. :thinking:

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“Ableton! Get yer Ableton!”

“What flavour is it?”

“It isn’t any flavour! It’s fucking Ableton flavour!”

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It means the same as Robert’s your father’s brother.

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Be patient my friend, when the OT mk3 comes out, people will refer to Ableton as “yeah, that’s like an OT in a box, right ?”

Our time will come

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Eh sorry buddy I don’t care, the Force is dope.

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‘Piece of piss’ is the same as ‘Piece of cake’. I know which delicacy I’d want to eat :wink:

‘Fanny’s your Aunt and Bob’s your Uncle’. Fanny being vagina and Bob being penis. Not sure about the broader context but I’ve always thought it was how the English do the whole ‘birds and the bees’ thing.

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The dark side of the Force is the bottom. No screen, no light-up pads on that side.

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Sick bastard.

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Sure but you didn’t think of me referring to both piss and cake as delicacies as being sick?

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I prefer Ableton in a bag or a bun.

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Having a good day?

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What about lasagna ?

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Bollocks.

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Piss cake?

Delicious.

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