I don’t claim to know my Handel from my handle but I don’t know any long hair music that slaps as hard as Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. What say you? Probably easier if only one entry per wig but I won’t claim my rite to riot or spring into sullenness if some choose otherwise.
Not sure what you mean by long hair music, seen a lot of that in the 70s and 90s.
Sounds like your looking for something like this, or is it too new and short haired?
If so maybe this then
Maybe it’s just an American thing of a certain generation but “long hair music” use to be a derogatory term for classical.
Ok thanks, thought so but haven’t heard that before.
Those fit and that’s not music I’m not super familiar with but I’ll choose this one then
Maybe it’s regional?
On the west coast, “long hair” music usually refers to rock of some kind, maybe hippie stuff like The Dead, maybe ‘80s hair metal.
2Cellos seems to fit the bill for “classical instruments but produced like (a boomer’s idea of) techno”
Cannoneers, too:
(I can’t recall if I’ve actually seen 1812 at the Bowl or just heard enough stories about it to create fake memories 
)
Never heard the term long hair music but anyway here’s a few classical bangers:
Loads of Vivaldi’s stuff aside from the 4 seasons slaps so check out his other work, when you’ve exhausted that there’s this fella who’s a Vivaldi scholar and writes music in the same style:
FWIW, for anyone interested in going to a “classical” concert, the programming generally does indeed slap.
Symphonies are expensive to run, and the artistic directors want to please existing members and bring in new potential donors. At least on the West Coast, it’s usually the more esoteric and experimental music that you have to go looking for.
But if you buy tickets for a major symphony you will almost certainly have a good time. Unless you are specifically looking for Cagian piano mutillation.
There are a ton of “intro to ‘Classical’ music” videos on youtube that are worth checking out if you want to learn more about the genre(s).
I like this guy because he approaches the greatest hits with a good sense of humor. Easy enough to go deeper if anything catches your ear:
(probably the most played video on Youtube featuring the Matrixbrute)
Not traditional “classical” but this tune slaps:
This was the direct inspiration for Black Sabbath. However Geezer Butler is rated, it isn’t high enough:
Frank Ticheli’s setting of “There Will Be Rest” is gorgeous. I wanna do a synth cover of it at some point, but you can only buy sheet music (in bulk!), not PDFs.
Some classical that literally slaps-
I don’t listen to this type of music much in general, but have been on a bit of a Nyman kick lately. Some of the quieter moments in this are lovely-
you know my steeeeeeez
I like very much the Max Richter recomposed version.
Spring 1 is such a hopeful piece.
Yea me too but not when I’m not in the mood for mysterious tears.
It’s like a ray of sunshine that breaks through the clouds but it doesn’t last for long…
This one is always a pick me up
I thought this would be about metal 
Wow, you so succinctly expressed how I feel about this piece in a way I wasn’t exactly aware of. I remember once walking through a park listening to it as Spring just started to emerge and the sun broke through the trees and I felt so happy, free, and almost simultaneously, melancholic.
me too! Here’s long hair music that slaps:
