Dispo (windowbed's diary)

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note: please let me know if this isn’t allowed. I love writing and I’ve kept public journals on message boards since I was 10 but I suspect the private forum I’ve been using will be shut down soon so I hope it’s ok to migrate here. And please feel free to respond in any way with questions, related anecdotes, off-topic discussion, rants, etc.

In May I left my research job after over 7 years at the same organization. Among lots of other issues, I felt completely isolated by the end of my time in that role. I also felt like I wasn’t meeting the kinds of interesting, varied people I had met through my other jobs, which led to a bit of a creative slump.

To remedy this, I sought out a customer-facing job within walking distance of my condo. I got rejected twice by Trader Joe’s (grocery store) before I recalibrated my sights. After a lot of effort, I started a job two weeks ago as a budtender at a local cannabis dispensary (mods: this is legal where I live) despite having no experience in retail.

This thread will document interesting/odd interactions, funny anecdotes, and challenges I face.

Dear diary,

Brady is currently my biggest challenge. He’s 40 (I’m 33 for context) but somehow his sense of humor consists of dick jokes and transphobic remarks, and he’s very quick to anger… as I learned on my first day.

See, about six hours into my first shift he mentioned something about science and I got really excited because I have an applied science background. Specifically, I tried to relate by saying it can be really irritating to manage our own health issues because sometimes keeping up with constantly-changing advice feels like superstition.

This did not go over well.

He said he understands science, has all his health issues figured out, doesn’t think science has anything to do with statistical analysis, and all science journal articles are invalid because they’re written by people, who are fallible. He said there is no correlation between statistics and science, and that trying to convince him otherwise is akin to trying to convert him to a religion.

I mentioned that correlation is a statistical test used in science, which only escalated things (oops).

Eventually, he said he’s my superior at work and I was being disrespectful, I can’t teach him anything, he’s older than me, and he guarantees he’s been to more school than me.

Whoops.

Anyway, the two of us don’t close the shop alone anymore and, given his strange pro-bullying transphobic rant on Monday, I hope we don’t work together again.

Other coworkers and all of my customers have been awesome though.

Love,

james

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You allow other peoples personal ideas and opinion to affect you?

Who cares what some dude thinks or how he lives his life?

Good luck.

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these guys suck so bad. sorry to hear hes higher up the ladder. stupid people hate the idea of being stupid and will lash out at anyone who makes it clear how stupid they actually are. i know a couple guys in the weed industry who are just like that, sucks that the weed doesnt chill them out.

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Thanks y’all. To be clear, this is all just slice of life writing–it’s super low stakes and I’m not losing any sleep over what I write about here.

This kind of drama is just a part of working in close quarters with others, and I’m actually grateful for that kind of stress instead of the stress I had at my last job.

Though I suppose the story I chose to share first strikes a much more serious tone than I intended! :joy:

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I don’t think so. It just seemed like a typical workplace anecdote about some douchebag with classic male-pattern insecurity. Keep up the writing, I dig it!

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You nailed it buddy. These are just some dbs jealous because you got that Elektron flex. Dont let those bums live rent free in your head. Remember, you’re an Elektronaut. They could only dream of having that title.

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Working evenings is a pretty novel experience for me. I get to sleep in until 8:30-ish am and have a full day before walking to work at 2:25pm (shift starts at 2:45).

Today my wife’s workday ended a bit early so we grabbed coffee and walked around together before my shift began.

The first part of the day was slow, but a regular came in and immediately called my by another budtender’s name as a callback to the last time I saw him. It was a fun and chill interaction overall and before he left I asked him his name and pre-emptively apologized for how long it’d take me to learn it.

He said “sometimes I do take it a bit personally if someone doesn’t remember my name, but like… this is the weed store, man!!”

Love it.

On my 30-minute “lunch” break I watched the sun set, wandered in front of a bunch of state and federal buildings while vaping THC, and said good evening to a bunch of strangers in passing.

When I got back a regular was about to enter the store. I was relieved to see him because last night he was having a baaaaaaaaad night and, to top it all off, didn’t end up getting any weed.

Sounds like today was going better for him and I was able to send him on his way with some weed. This was a relief because last night he literally tried to pay for an eighth using a $20 off coupon for a medical evaluation at a completely different business. :grimacing:

Our last customer of the night paid with over 20 $2 bills.

On my way home I was hoping to stop at the taco truck across from the church-turned-nightclub but there was a line and I wanted to get home before my wife fell asleep.

Then I get to do it all again tomorrow.

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At my last job I didn’t work with anyone who didn’t have a college education, and many had advanced degrees. This made some sense for what we did, but it also served as a strict socioeconomic filter for the people I met through work.

On the other hand, I see at least a couple houseless people per day at the dispensary. Whether or not they can buy anything I get to provide a friendly, welcoming, nonjudgmental environment for them. We generally have some friendly conversation, and I can often at least share a laugh before they leave.

Feels pretty good because there are lots of unhoused people in my neighborhood and I rarely have opportunities for sincere one-on-one interactions with them. And that sucks because they’re my neighbors.

I may just be enjoying the contrast to my last job, but I never actually wanted to go to grad school and I never wanted to be a professional researcher. I was just following the path of least resistance.

This feels a lot more like “me.”

Especially if I have plenty of time to stream before work most days. That’s been fun.

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Work is inspiring me how I hoped–through meeting people, being in public, and walking 3 miles a day.

Today I’ll do some field recordings on my break, and eventually I’d like to bring a GoPro around and get some cool city footage. I’m hoping to edit streamed videos during work one day though I’m not quite brave enough to do it yet.

There are two weird parts of the job.

The second weirdest is hearing all the pseudoscience around the dispensary and seeing the definitely-not-FDA-approved health claims on the packaging. Especially weird coming from an exercise science background since nobody benefits from me being like “well akshully” so I just use a ton of weasel words.

The weirdest is holding up containers of weed for people to smell.

Never liked it as a customer and it’s worse as an employee. “Here’s the strain you wanted to smell… sorry if you detect a hint of pepperoni from my hands.”

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Dear diary,

I worked for 20 minutes on Halloween.

I showed up, introduced myself to a fellow newbie budtender (though she actually has industry experience), reviewed all of our Halloween weekend deals, and set my stuff down. It took me a second to realize there was nowhere for me to sit and, unusually, I had a desperate need to sit NOW. Instead I paced until I power-walked to the bathroom.

After my first two trips to puke I was cursing my out-of-shape ass for going for a run this morning for the first time in years. I told my manager that my body was rebelling and headed home, planning to come back in the evening.

It felt like I went home, blinked, and it had been 3 hours. I had put sweats on at some point and was covered under a bunch of blankets. My cat Purrl was cuddled up with me.

It was not the workout.

I think I’ve been awake for about 5-10 hours in the last two days, and today I noticed that my fever has subsided only to be replaced by very visible hives… hmm.

I’m pretty sure I’m not contagious and could make it through my shift today but I’m definitely not at 100%. I’m just pretty hesitant to call out three days in a row in my first month. Yeesh.

Love,

james

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Enjoying the read. Keep it going. with some time this diary could shape up nicely into a graphic novel. Just saying.

Hope you feel better soon.

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Dear diary,

On Tuesday I got lunch with someone from my last job. I definitely made the right choice by leaving there. Yes, I deal with an annoying coworker here but at my last job my boss was regularly pulling me off projects despite telling me I was doing fine.

And yes, some dispo customers can be a handful especially if you reject their ID… but at my last job we had actual stalkers, including one who fixated on me for about 5-10 months.

At my last job we “pushed back” against the system by doing stuff like conducting studies to make recommendations about ways to improve the courts and legal system, then asking nicely for them to change. Sometimes the changes were implemented but no matter what there was a ton of self-congratulatory back patting. And not a lot of progress.

On the other hand my current job is a federal crime. I’m legitimately defying the government daily.

Plus I get lots of free and heavily discounted weed and THC products.

Yesterday I rode my bike to pick up a Drumbrute Impact from Craigslist. I am very weak and deconditioned, and the weed doesn’t help. Hopefully this serves as some motivation but I’ve been saying that for years now.

Have I mentioned that I have two degrees in exercise science? Yeesh. At the very least I’ve fixed all my back and knee pain.

Anyway that’s all for today. I hope you’re doing well.

Love,

james

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whats your secret? im currently in physical therapy for both back and knees

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The secret: troubleshoot your day-to-day activities, movement, and posture.

Like I got hurt moving around a Keylab a while back. The pain was in my elbow but it was ultimately the result of my shoulder position when I was grabbing things. Took a lot of trial and error and mindfulness throughout the day to figure that out, though.

The crappy part, of course, is that it’s easy to drive yourself slightly insane by auditing your every movement and breath :joy:

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Dear diary,

Last night on my walk home I spent $12 of my tip money at the taco truck across from the Church nightclub.

I got home, said goodnight to my wife, vaped, poured myself a Jack & Coke, and hung out with the cats.

This morning I met up with a collaborator for the first time in over a month. I brought my OP-XY, QuNexus, Drumbrute Impact, and a couple joints to share (I get some samples for $0.25). He brought his bass and a lot of ideas. He’s an incredibly experienced musician and I’m learning a ton from him about the creative and collaborative process. Plus he has a lot of connections he’s willing to use.

We might start livestreaming at some point but we have a bit more work to do before we’re ready for that.

This afternoon I went out to lunch and drinks with my wife before heading into my closing shift.

When I got to the dispo I learned one of my favorite coworkers quit after our shift last night. For the first time I felt bold enough to take out the iPad during my shift to outline a stream (and make this post).

On my break I called my dad while wandering aimlessly by the jail and Mint.

In an hour we begin cleaning.

Maybe I’ll see if I can buy a slice on my way home from one of the food trucks by the clubs.

We’ll see.

Hope you’re doing well.

Love,

James

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This is the last day of my work week and once again I’m not sure what to do with all these $1 bills.

When asked, Jason matter-of-factly stated he’s an alcoholic and uses them to tip his bartenders downtown after work.

I paid for my tacos the other day with $1s and I might use them to buy some Jack Daniels after work tonight. Maybe the arcade over the next few days, I dunno. Side note: I’m grateful my GERD regulates my drinking for me.

On some level I’d like to hand them off to more houseless people, especially to sorta counteract the anti-homeless sentiment a lot of the budtenders have shared. I can think of lots of excuses about why I haven’t been proactive about finding people to give money to, but it really boils down to “I haven’t done it yet but boy wouldn’t I be a nice guy if I did.”

Mixed feelings on where my head’s at with all that.

I often get field recordings on my break. During my shift I’ve started working on OP-XY presets for a collaboration I’ve got going, and eventually I’ll start bringing my GoPro to get more city footage.

I’ve started kinda enjoying smoking joints now which means I probably ought to take fitness a bit more seriously now. Or just don’t pick up the habit, but somehow I don’t think that’s likely, especially with sample joints and all that.

Two more hours until cleaning, three more until I head home.

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Feel free to share them here if you’d like :slightly_smiling_face:

What part of the country are you in? Your entries remind a lot of Portland, but I suppose it could be any number of places these days…

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I was going to write the same thing after reading the entries, this has got to be Portland. I’d bet on it as a fellow Oregonian.

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Y’all are far off geographically but remarkably close culturally–I’m in downtown Denver

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I may like joints now but my wife is not a fan of how my face or clothes smell when I smoke so those will be an occasional indulgence. I’ll stick with my Pax and carts mostly.

I’m pretty out of shape so NOT taking up actual smoking is probably for the best anyway. I left my last job to drag myself out of this depression, and there’s no reason to make it harder to get back in shape… whenever I start actually doing that.

On that note I still need to figure out how to engage with running without also engaging my ego. A 7:47 mile ain’t speedy by my personal standards but there’s no reason to beat myself up over it.

After work on Friday I stopped by the cart across from Church and got the chicken quesadilla for dinner. Legitimately might have been the best quesadilla I’ve had in Denver. Got another one last night. Only $10 and I pay with tips.

One customer walked in wearing a Cheer hoodie. She asked for a half of a very heavy indica, then pulled out a military ID and said “well, not for much longer, I’m getting divorced.” I was low on change and she was super friendly and understanding. Sounds like the dispensary was at least quieter than the cheer competition she was at.

Two customers came in and one was actually SO high energy that I messed up like half their transaction. She came in asking for “flower and paraphernalia” and it only got weirder from there. I think I now fully appreciate how pickpockets work.

Lotsa firings and hirings recently. Not sure if I’ll be at the dispo much more than a year but it’s definitely possible, especially if I keep making money elsewhere (lessons, YouTube).

Also, this diary is secretly about depression.

And class conflict.

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