First, you’re not alone to question ^^
Now I’d like to underline one of your sentences:
And throw a few ideas:
This, IMO, might be a bit too high a goal, as it is set here. But what about little steps towards it?
First step I see is learning your actual gear from A to Z and experimenting with it.
Accumulating gear gets in the way, as said on any anti-GAS thread ^^
Learning Production is actually very interesting, and makes the experience of creating and listening to music a new one.
Check the forum to know where to get started.
This said, playing (and learning) an instrument such as the piano is also a nice experience. If you have a field recorder, you can sample yourself and start from this.
Keeping pushing it is the way!
Create tracks, even if you’re not totally satisfied with them.
They are not a goal, only milestones.