I have a partner, 4 kids, manage and event company, a home, a cat, a dog and a drinking habit…at the moment im collecting gear for retirement in about 30 years…that will be the next chance i will get to finish a tune…
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I have a very similar situation. I have all my creative ideas while I’m at work, and lose half of them by the time I start, and then lose motivation too.
Unless it’s a weekend or random ultra-inspired weekday night it’s tricky.
What helps on the tricky days is pulling a piece out of the studio that’s capable of sequencing, sound design, and enough basics to put a simple loop or track together. (That’s why I love the DT and M:S.) I can hop in bed, toss on some phones, and start. Sometimes it goes nowhere, others it keeps me up until the wee hours and I’m inspired enough to connect it back up and hit record. Maybe even add more synths to it.
That doesn’t do wonders for the next work day but sometimes it’s worth it. 
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I had almost 10 years away from making music, partly through stagnation and frustration but mostly lack of time, then I was given an iPad in 2012 and everything changed because now I make music on my commute to work - almost a full hour each way - and it is almost the perfect music creation environment as there are no distractions, you can’t be called away to do something else, nobody is making your feel guilty that you are spending that time making music (what else are you going to do sitting on the bus?)… since then I have been banging out tracks quite regularly!
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With work , 2 young kids , the house … nop.
I sold the damn house 
Really ! Though that was an ancestral house from 1873 so as you can imagine, there was always something broken or something to do on the damn house.
Also im working 4 days a week now.
Im a software developper and i was working a lot for many years. I was drained and tired most of the time so one day i told my boss i was going to leave to make music and have more time with my family. Since then, no more overtime and 4 days a week.
So with no house to maintain and 4 days a week im able to do a little something otherwise it was nearly impossible for me.
When i was way younger i had time but i was completely broke.
Now i can buy most of the gear i want … i just dont have that much time he he.
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Currently taking an extended break but plan on getting back into it around march or so, next year.
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I am all in.
Absolutely, and who deny it is lying. bleep, blop, blip
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I’m gonna approach the answer a bit differently now, since everybody’s talking about juggling their kids.
When I have the opportunity to work on my music during daytime, I tend to do a lot of organizing or finetuning. All very rational and with a goal in mind - I talk to the machines.
When I play the machines in the night, it always tends to be very intuitive and free flowing. Often I have the same loop running the whole time and I’m just wiggling the knobs and see what happy accidents happen - the machines talk to me.
If the results tend to be a little stiff, I try to work on things during the night; is the track a little too sporadic or has no clear direction or needs some finetuning, I make adjustements during the day.
Light and dark, rationality and intuition, that sort of stuff. Sounds all a bit esoteric, but there’s a pretty clear trend, so to speak 
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This is completely normal. I daydream about music all day at work and then have no energy to do it when I get home.
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Hahahaha and then feel guilty for not doing anything.
I can relate to that a lot more than I should admit.
Man, me too. I Hope this gets better when my little Girl is going to school in two years. I also dream of doing live gigs again with Friends. They were a lot of fun!
No, no guilty Feelings. Just dissapointment.
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I’m in the exact same situation as you. Kids. Wife. Work.
I got an MPC Live not too long ago. I’ve burned through all gear there is. Some, I made music on. Some amounted to something of some worth. But it’s been a struggle, all the time. The Live, I’ve been avoiding for years. I figured, touch screens and almost like a computer-ish, wasn’t for me. I’m a tactile guy. I even like instruments with no display at all.
But along came the Live, eventually.
And now, with this, one struggle has been removed from clear and present sight - the idea that the gear might have something, anything, to do with it. The way you interact with your equipment is a part of music making, and as long as there’s a shred of doubt that your gear can be part of the reason you’re not moving forward, then you always got that excuse.
With the Live, I have no excuses left. It is on me and solely on me now.
I’ve yet to produce anything on the Live that I’m happy with. But every now and then, when there’s energy and time to spend on an idea, the Live gets me there in an instant.
So now, I got only myself to blame. And I’m very much okay with that.
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Oh… I think I was making my own mind up about stuff and you’ve just eased me. Although “disappointment” is still a a negative emotion is far better than what I shouldn’t have been feeling! Thanks, I think…
On my Commute in the morning. I can normally get a plug socket on the train. Most annoying is having the weight of the AR in my bag and no plug sockets.
TBH, I had lots of gear and at the moment, with less time and the Live only, I got to be more productive. It took a me to get to know the Live but now that I do, I know if I’m missing something it’s my fault.
Plus the MPC workflow somehow fit in my almost adhd music behaviour, I turn it on, I get a loop going, I get distracted, I add something.
I got to the point that I feel like I want some new gear, but it’s a want more than a need. Not sure I’m making sense.
As for when I make music, when I can really. My most productive moment tends to be that half hour between leaving the sofa in the evening post-sofa and going to bed. Most of my tracks get started then.
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My Girls are 4 (turning 5 next month) and 12. From the experience with the older one, sooner or later it will become easier and there will be more me/music time again. So therefore i mostly enjoy the kids time. Because i know, they grow very quickly and time with them is also quality time, that cant be repeated once they are older. So i simply Accept the circumstances as they are now and really enjoy them. It gives me Energy that i can also later Transfer Back into my music.
Regarding the wife/husband…If your partner really loves you…He/she should respect naturally your Wish for being creative and give you room/time to live that. If it is Not Like that, Talk to your partner and make an Agreement/contract Like, half sunday afternoon from 3 to 6 for you, and saturday morning 9 - 12 for your partners Hobby whatever. If your Wish does Not get respected at all, …sorry to Sound harsh, but Look for someone Else. Life is too precious and too Shirt to be miserable in a relationship. Mutual respect is a must for a healthy relationship. Always.
In the Kids/wife/Job triangle what gives me some freedom is Meeting every other week with a friend for a Jam Session in His (kidless,) place. I usually Bring some Elektron Digi* or Roland SH01a with me and we spend some nice geartalking/jamming free hours. We do that Like twice a months.
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I’m lucky enough to work four days a week.
In a good week, I’ll get to spend a few hours making music on my non-working day.
Evenings and weekends tend to be filled with parental duties and housework. By the time the kids are in bed and the chores are done, I’m usually too shattered to focus on anything remotely creative.
I’m a born procrastinator so I find that having some realistic goals and constraints can really help with motivation.
I try not to beat myself up when progress is slow (which is most of the time).
You make total sense. The MPC to me is so obvious in how it’s done, it’s so easy to see it’s on me. I like it that way.