Unappreciative partner

Just broke up from a relationship of 10 years… If I ever engage in a new relationship again, I’ll do my best to find someone who likes and appreciates (electronic) music, perhaps even makes it herself too. I know I know, women who are into producing electronic music are quite scarce, so it’s quite a long shot. Still, at this age (I turn 40 in a month) I know what I want and need in life. I’ll rather be alone than start another relationship with someone who never wants music in the house and doesn’t appreciate my hobby.

9 Likes

My thoughts exactly brother.
Good luck.

Passion are really difficult for the other side to understand unless she have a passion similar on how it’s impacting her and her close circle. If the passion are quite similar and although don’t like yours, she perfectly understand because same process with her passion… that’s maybe the best scenario. When she share the MUSIC it should work unless something happen and have impact too… like diminished yourself, ego, debate on music, friends from music etc… I think I experienced every scenario and from my experience the best is both have a real costly passion (cost can be not only money, time, psychological impact, …) shared the behavior of this passion but nature of the passion is not the same shared but a different one. If I come back to single to with someone I would like that again… this kind …

ps : i will not happy when she touched my machine after eating a cake without washed their hands per example… it drive me nuts :stuck_out_tongue:

1 Like

I think what you’re describing here would be Utopia. Which might be far-fetched, but it’s important to have standards

1 Like

Utopia is a bit too strong a word. While it’s true that about 95% of people into making electronic music are male, there are always some women into that as well. Just gotta find the one that does AND likes me as well.

A bit of a long shot of course, but I see no point in a mediocre relationship at my age anymore.

I think I’m going for the same thing, but lowering my bar to a female musician that enjoys weird & electronic music. I assist her on her on her acoustic-based music and I can sample her and collab on my beep-boop music. DOUBLE THE PROJECTS.

Ah…

To dream is the pinnacle of humanity… <3

2 Likes

Does anyone know if Julia Kent is seeing anybody?

@Ryan You might have blown your chances now she knows you’re “lowering your bar”! :pl:

I showed my other half this thread, saying how lucky I was that she was encouraging and supportive…

She read a bit more and then said,“Wait a minute - have you got this ‘GAS’ ?!!?”

Be very careful guys.

9 Likes

Touche, sir!

1 Like

Yeah man, it’s one thing to have a partner that can stand your music, and another that can stand the habits that go along with it.

I’m lucky with GAS too I suppose since she doesn’t mind that either (unless it interferes with our vacation plans, travelling can be expensive!)

3 Likes

My wife hates the GAS but knows the game. I start to mention something first and get the grief out of the way. Then as a sweetener I’ll always buy her a gift. Works a treat every time. Ha ha. She puts up with it!

She’s into her running, so I’ll always go and watch her race. Cant say she supports me the same way but to be honest doesn’t bother me anymore. Don’t even show her my tracks anymore. I always like it when I sneak one on when we have a drink and she says ‘what’s this, it’s cool’ better than ever showing her something going ‘listen to this!’

To be fair started to get an Elektron addition after buying an A4. Now I also have a Rytm. I keep speaking about an OT for last 12 months. It was the most agonyisng purchase of my life.

In the end saw it mentioned on the forum that price dropped to £909. I’d pissed her off so much talking about it she got it me for Christmas. Winner!

Sometimes it pays that they aren’t interested.

3 Likes

My wife says to me today
‘whats that black keyboard, thought you only had a white one’.
‘Thats my analog keys, you know I have that.’
‘I dont remember seeing it’
‘You saw me and our son playing it a couple of weeks ago’
‘Cant remember that, you have so many synths i cannot keep count’
‘So can I buy another one’
‘Mmmmmm’.

10 Likes

Thank goodness for desktop units. Because they’re so small they’re easier to sneak by and/or not be too intimidating to the unsuspecting as far as price goes.

The iPad is also e-GAS galore.

I don’t have a family of my own, so it’s up to ME to sort of discipline myself on my music purchases…

3 Likes

Isn’t it kind of sad this type of thread pops up on pretty much every forum where mostly middle aged men hang out? Hell, I’ve even talked about the sneaking stuff into the house phenomenon with colleagues at work and most guys seem to do this. While it seems tragically comical, it also depresses me a little that so many people, me included, seem to be with someone they love but rather deceive than discuss their spending habits with.

Just sayin’
Hans

5 Likes

well as you get older you have multiple responsibilities, i.e. mortgages, kids schooling etc.
I have never had to hide any purchasing from my wife and she is always supportive. Its more personal guilt buying things on luxuries rather than necessities, but you have to also enjoy yourself in life and do what makes you happy. I work hard enough to be able to treat myself from time to time.

2 Likes

Definitely the “boys club” vibe in these topics. But thankfully less here than most synth forums which trend towards hostile and bitter.

At least most here have made peace with the person they love and that they have their own independent motivations and interests!

1 Like

I think as had been said before more males tend to gravitate to this area of interest. I couldnt say why. I for one welcome more females into electronic music making i would love to see more ideas and inspiration, everyone has something to add in this wonderful infinate world of sound and music creation, each being creating new emotions and energy. And everybody has different life experiences and different angles on it. Many of the girls i have had the priveledge to know in this life have been the most imaginative, openminded and spiritual beings i have met. On another note my wife is cool with me buying new gear so i have no issues there haha!!! I would never pick a partner based on her hobbies or musical tastes i may add. If they happened to connect with mine then thats icing on the cake. Im also involved in bodybuilding which is pretty much a way of life and my wife is quite supportive of that. So i cant complain really can i :))))

Yeah it’s definitely a shame that electronic music is so heavily balanced towards men, something I wonder about a lot. A few things about this field are off putting to women I think: one is the macho aura that still surrounds the whole ‘scene’, especially techno. The image is dark, gritty, tough, but maybe a little juvenile or boastful when seen from the outside. Tough chicks are down with it but lots don’t bother. Another is that this hobby is so dependent on tech and tech research, which for whatever reason doesn’t appeal to many women. The women I know making electronic music tend to use whatever gear is to hand - they learn it quick and then get on with the job. Probably to their advantage.

Obviously lots of generalisations here but I think we could all do more to make this hobby less macho and more inclusive. In my city there’s a growing trend towards fun genres like funk, italo, disco, PC music, cosmic etc, and tons more of the DJ sets and live PAs are by women compared to 5 years ago when the trend was predominantly house and techno.

1 Like

Just some old cultural gender tendencies that prevent many people from even thinking about doing something. I don’t think it has much to do with biology etc. The world is just still a bit misbalanced when it comes to socio-culture, but things are getting better. Took me many years to start producing music even though the idea had come into my mind every now and then. Now it’s evolved into a hobby that’s in my mind almost 24/7! Obsession? Well these are just my thoughts can’t speak up for all the women :slight_smile:

6 Likes

Most women I know just wanna be singers. If any actually make music it’s normally minimal accompianment(uke or guitar). Singing seems to be more feminine