You mean bored them to sleep? I can do that by talking, no expensive hardware needed!
āfamiliarity breeds contemptā
i think this is a very common situation. even though electronic music has gained a foothold in the states with the younger crowd, above a certain age itās still viewed as a niche genre at best. nobody i know even likes electronic music, much less my electronic music. i used to try and tell them about it or give away cds, put stuff on instagram, etc. i got shrugs, indifference, looks of confusion. also several āoh i didnāt know you make musicā statements. even though iāve been doing this for 17 years.
always a bit depressing when something that is so important to us is ignored by those closest to us. one good thing comes from years of these struggles though. i find i am a better listener to others and try and pay attention to othersā interests and hobbies more. at parties i donāt ask people āwhat do you do?ā, i ask them āwhat do you do for fun?ā. i think all this gives me an appreciation for peopleās inner lives and their sense of self, which is usually vastly more important than what one does for money.
maybe we should just let go and view othersā lack of appreciation as freeing us up to make music only for ourselves and our own satisfaction.
edit - removed excessive whining and self-pity.
Thatās a frustrating situation. Iād be bummed out under those circumstances. But thereās a lot of people who arenāt your partner who DO want to share in your journey and your joy of discovery - show them. Thatās why we have these communities.
Not to generalize too much, but feminine energy is often more impressed with the passion and drive itself, and in a subtle way, the āneed for external validationā itself is a turn-off. You having fun and being passionate and undeflatable is whatās important to maintain. I get it that youāre wanting to share in your joy of discovery and expression, and it sucks that sheās not sharing it. Perhaps her upbringing involved an environment in which creativity and self-expression were āshut downā??
To also not generalize to muchā¦ Women Iāve known this way have usually been intrigued by the potential social value of my musicianship only to be roundly disappointed that it amounts only to me talking voltage control with my 2 geekiest friendsā¦
My girl loves to listen to my stuff, she doesnt really like more underground or not ātop40ā electronic music, but she appreciates it. When Iām working on stuff for remixes that need to be a little more palatable to mainstream, she loves to sit down in the studio and add that extra to keep it from going too undergound.
My 5-year-old son loves drum machines. Heāll sit there tapping away on the TR-8 for ages. But his favourite thing is playing some sampled radio pop song at different pitches on the OP-1. Laughs his head off.
Right on. Iāve been meaning to ask the OP if he performs live shows and your comment has served as a reminder. The live performance element puts the music into an entirely different context and perhaps that aids the appreciation. I can say from personal experience that Iāve been in the situation where some were like āmehā about my recordings but then they got it when theyāre in a crowd and I was on stage.
Donāt underestimate the value of participation.
My former (and hopefully future) partner at least liked some of the stuff Ive done. Never minded if she was indifferent to the rest - just wasnāt her cup of tea.
What was more important to me was that she always encouraged me to follow my interests and enjoy myself.
I like this thread!
My other half often rips the pish out of me for my music stuff I let her listen to. Especially if I braved some singing on it! I donāt mind - itās not like Iām aiming for chart success or to make money out of it. Basically, I am happy with the āRoss from Friendsā image she has haha
Every now and again something of mine will come on a random playlist and Iāll watch to see her reaction. If she canāt tell its āhome madeā then thatās like a seal of approval to me!
I think sheās just glad Iām not out getting wrecked every weekend like I used to do pre, and for a short while, post kids. In any case, Iāve got buddies I do music with who like my stuff a lot more so all good!
I remember as a dnb dj (15y ago), we always wanted heavy music. It was the trick to do it on such a way, the girls wanted to dance. No pussy sounds, no cheesy vocals, it was possible to let them dance on heavy sounds if it was not distorted too much, if it was rolling etc)ā¦ if the women were dancing all night, the Dane Floor was stable all night and the entire crowd went crazy.
Iāve been giving this a lot of thought and feel your pain. In the past Iāve had mixed responses and chalked it up to high expectations - being compared to whatās on the radio. Today Iām blessed with a supportive scene and a partner who is supportive and also a way more talented producer than I. The reviews can still be rough, more so since she knows of what she speaks.
A thought - does your partner sing? Is there a way to involve her in the process where the hobby becomes something you share? Make field recordings together on a hike? That sort of thing?
On the other hand, is there a way to lead by example? Does she have a hobby you could be more involved with?
Good luck to you.
I have the best wife in the world
No interfering with my āawful galactic alien soundsā.
Still we are very happy togetherā¦ outside my man cave that is.
The saying goes - happy wife, happy life
Iām friends with Patrick C from Front 242 - they make pretty loud noisy industrial projects - and a while back I asked his wife Amy if she ever just couldnāt stand the noises he was making. She said she has headphones for those moments.
So sweet
Well ā¦ I recon she is hungry and requires him entirely ā¦
Sorry couldnāt resist ā¦ Tragedy for you drilled itself into my head back in the daysā¦
Great to hear theyre still active.
I wish I could say I can relate. I visit my girlfriend and sheāll have Monolake or Rythm & sound playing on a good home system. Weāll watch Mr.g on boiler room t.v instead of netflix sometimes. That said, she basically uncritical in the same way anyoneās mother would be.
Iāve reached a point where I recognize the lack of enthusiasm with the music I create. It was a big bummer to accept for a REALLY long time, felt pissy and petty to be honest. But eventually what started out as forlorn love turns into freedom, and it makes the music making more intimate. You wonāt appease most anyone, so thereās no reason to try. It really injects a bit more love into it. Thereās no reason to make music at that point, no demand, and you still find yourself pulled into doing it because its wonderful. It plants the flag of fulfillment back into it and you enjoy making that music SO MUCH MORE.
Good luck!
Wow it seems a really interesting topic - to be fair im only messing when i say id rather she lied - integrity is a large thing in out livesā¦ And also i dont expect everyone to like my ( admittedly poor!! ) electronic outpourings. She prefers me playing guitar as she sees that more as me using it as an outlet for my soul. More ānaturalā if you will. I can understand that view, though dont agree ā¦!!!
Ive been out of residential rehabilitation for addiction for three months and to be honest i use music making and tinkering with sound design to keep me in recovery. Keeps me busy keeps me sane(ish).
And i do it for my own pleasure not anyone elses - and it gives me lots of happiness regardless of whether it goes anywhere outside my living room.
Its great to hear people have aupportive partners, and also indifferent alike. Its the differnce that makes the world such an amazing place.
Happy Christmas people and keep on keeping on :))))
My partner couldnt care less what I make. Its my hobby and thats fine. Yesterday I recorded a bit of my liveset and plugged it in our hifi set in the living room. That was the first time my partner was in the same room and I got an aproval nodā¦made me smile, personally I think my upcoming liveset will be the best everā¦
But my other half doesnt have a clue what my gear is worthā¦ I dont know if that is a good thing.
Iām happy to have a boy friend that has the same taste of music as I do. He usually likes my stuff and gives good feedback. But then again all my friends and relatives like a very different kind of music. Itās hard to tell if they really understand or appreciate what I do. Have to learn to accept that and still be proud of what I do, and not try to hide my music from them in fear of not being understood.