First of all. My impulse to buy stuff is very bad. I have few analog synth, one sampler, a couple of drum machines. But everything is a little bit off. Both my old synth have issues with s&h. But I alleays dreaming of other new gear that would save me from my mess. But start to understand that is not the case.
The machinedrum is a little bit tired but working great. Nothing to really complain about with my gear.
But my speaker sucks, my headphones sucks and right now I have no work. Im am an artist (Painting and sounds) with no money right now. But hey. Im aware that people maby have a harder life than me.
But my concern is. I feel like everything that I do sucks like my speakers. That it would not matter if I had better speakers or headphones or mixer or soundcard. It feels like I never get it. I have tried many musicstyles. Synthmusic a la Front 242, Goa Trance, Psytrance, Techno, DnB and so on but I never ever get it right. It feels like that. I wonder how people that is good at music do it? How do they get that sound?
Its like there is some air between the notes. The base is pure and pumping. The drum fits good togheter and everything is glued togheter. Have they a bigger studio? Better ears? A manager that says when is enought âtesting testing testingâ?
In my music there is a complete mess. And I understand my speakers and headphones are part of it but also my messy studio, everything is a mess, me, my music, my art⌠Maby my ears? My knowledge?
I give it time. I feel like I understand my Evolver Deskop (my favorite) and my Vermona Drm 1 mklll is really good. I dont know. It feels good from time to time. And I really enjoying myself in the studio when I get it but I can spend a whole day in studio and record 50 loops and then get tired of that, start a new projekt and di the same thing againg. But I never finish song and when I do I am happy for one day then I see all the âmisstakesâ. But my sound is my sound⌠Even if I do another one I know it is going to be the same.
Sorry for a depressive post but I dosent know where to turn and talk about this? Is it the speakers? My mindset? My ears? My very slow decisions making? That I have to many choices, possibillites. I cant make it minimal? I cant make âless is moreâ? Is it My perfektionism? my lack of self esteem?
If its one thing I understand is that is not about the gear.
How do handle your own struggles? Where is your inspiration?
Mine is right now Ben Klock, Terrence Dixon and Peter Van Hoesen.