The flag system is in place so that users can privately express when they feel something is inappropriate. It’s on us to determine what we feel in response to seeing or reading something, not on another person or the person who posted it.
If you don’t think that something is funny, consider the context. If it’s silly and harmless or it seems like it’s something that is violent, inappropriate or offensive is up to you to determine and respond to. Everyone should feel comfortable here but there is also a situational understanding, that these posts are jokes and sometimes are not as they first appear.
If you view a joke / meme honestly and it seems outside the scope of what most people would consider to be “ok” then you have to choose either to say something directly, or to flag. Not everyone is comfortable with those options, but the only other option is leave and I personally and I think others as well, do not want people feeling like they have to leave or don’t belong in the joke.
In regard to the specific content I don’t believe it was intended to promote cruelty to animals and that the nature of the situation was abstract, at the same time I can relate to seeing an image of an animal being mistreated and feeling uncomfortable and I eat a vegetarian diet and live a vegetarian lifestyle so I’m pretty sensitive to images of animal harm or cruelty.
I think the milkshake joke was a bit specific, and it’s told from a perspective of absurdity as opposed to a window into reality. I know the person who posted it well enough to believe that they are of the same mindset as most of us here, in that we all want to get along and nobody wants to be too grotesque in what we condone or laugh at.
None the less, when we are offended or when a post needs oversight, the flag system is the safest way to do that so when I get flagged, I do try to put myself in the other person’s shoes and see if I can understand where the disconnect has occurred. Sometimes a person already knows and just does not want to admit it to themselves, other times it actually doesn’t make sense and it’s harder to accept that which we don’t understand.
I try to be cautious when posting because sometimes a meme which is flagged or removed may represent more towards the time spent on a joke, or an hour of looking through shitty memes just to find one which I don’t feel embarrassed to post some low-quality humor. The fact that there is some time invested and the intent to give others a laugh can make a flag in this thread feel extra strong, but still, the flag system exists for this purpose.
We do have to be tolerant and aware of the fact that many posts in this thread are not serious, and the context of a joke may be more absurd and paradoxical then conventional humor, but we also need to listen to our feelings. If you are not comfortable to say something directly, if anyone is not comfortable to say something directly, when a meme or joke offends them even after you consider the context, then don’t prioritize another person’s feelings over your own.
We all want to feel comfortable and have a good day here. I think most of us won’t laugh at something too outside the scope of a “harmless” joke so if it seems like other people are enjoying then maybe they read it as a different situation, but that doesn’t mean you or anyone has to follow along.
It is important to make your own choices in life, and this type of choice is no different and does not need to be apologized for. At the same time if a person reads a joke that feels like a personal attack and feels targeted about things that nobody could possibly know about them, the person posting the joke is probably presenting a joke about themselves and their real-life situations and not suggesting that you should be insecure about whatever that may be.
There is a difference between discomfort in camaraderie and things which are made to single out or make others feel picked on. It’s important to look twice and decide if we are offended by the joke or by the mirror that we may see ourselves in. That’s why you’ll occasionally see me refer to it as “the meme mirror”, because I truly believe that sometimes the content speaks to us in a way that makes it hard to not turn it into a mirror which reflects back at us.
In any case, this thread respects the flag system, but sometimes receiving the flag stings a bit and sometimes it takes some strong and immediate empathy to determine why the post was flagged. If we (speaking as a flagged person) take a moment to see if we can potentially see the misunderstanding then sometimes it begrudgingly makes sense, other times it is simply that we do not see eye to eye and there is no reconciling the difference of opinion.
Since we are all unique individuals and want to respect each other, it is better to err on the side of caution. That means if someone is offended, we don’t always need to understand why, just that they were. That is often enough reason to be cautious when posting that sort of content.
The cow joke was silly, it did not depict a cow spinning, but the implication was there and for some that’s enough to feel uncomfortable. There is no shame in having feelings and to continue being human when on the internet is not always easy with people so desensitized by life and current events.
After all this writing, which is for everyone not just zum, I would say please just do your best, because nobody can expect more than that from you. If someone makes a joke in good faith and another person is offended, don’t take it too personally and try to have empathy.
If a person reads a joke that may seem offensive, remember TPO: time, place, occasion. And consider the source: is this person violent? Aggressive? Offensive? Is it possible that there’s a misunderstanding? If you are still offended and don’t want to get into protracted discussions about the merit of jokes or posts, that’s when we flag, and everyone should respect that.
Also good morning!
