Just feeling a need to vent a bit. The pandemic feels like it will never be over and I’m frustrated. It’s been about 11 months since the first big round of COVID cases. 11 months of mostly staying home, avoiding people and being miserable. Even though my country has been doing fine compared to many others.
My duo project with a friend was put on an indefinite break. We couldn’t achieve what we were looking for and we were frustrated because we knew there wouldn’t be any gigs in the near future. Also, my friend belongs to a COVID risk group, so seeing them was always taking a calculated risk.
At first I enjoyed my newfound freedom, I was bubbling with ideas I could execute now that my gear and schedule were not tied to any specific time and place.
But I don’t feel like making music. My OT demandingly stares at me on the table and my A4 and AR are packed in their cases, screaming to me: “BE CREATIVE!” There is a bunch of keyboards stashed in our walk-in closet, gathering dust. And some of my hardware is still over at my friend’s place because I haven’t been able to arrange a ride to haul everything home.
I have ideas but at the same time I feel uninspired and dull. I don’t feel like taking any gear out, arranging and connecting cables or even just playing an instrument. I’ve been thinking about renting a rehearsal room to separate my creative space from my workspace (I currently work from home), but I’m not sure if I can afford it.
How do you stay inspired when you have to stay home? And how do you overcome the spiral of guilt that forms when you know that you have the equipment to express yourself but you won’t - and then you feel bad about yourself and even less inspired.