Hey Sip, thanks for checking in. I was actually worried if something had happened to you, because I’ve missed your supportive and thoughtful replies. You are a positive presence in many threads 
It always impresses me when people invest a big chunk of their life into making the best possible life for others. I wish you the best in your situation and with your struggles, and I’m certain things will turn out for the better for you in the long run.
Currently searching for somewhere to live in a very tight market. Getting my own place just isn’t viable for the next 6 months so sharing it is.
It’s like online dating except I can’t just opt out. As a middle aged man, most people would prefer not to have me and I’m suspicious of the ones who would.
I really hope you’ll find something. It’s just not right to have to do that at that age. Housing crisis is the same here too in the Netherlands. I actually owned houses two times in the past. Both were sold with meagre to no profit because of my ex-wife. First was my own apartment because we’re going to live together, second one was our house because of our divorce. She took her time to move out of that house, I couldn’t get another mortgage, then got fired, and by the time my income was stable enough again to warrant a mortgage the prices had skyrocketed. Near impossible to get something on my income alone, and big enough for me and my two kids. So I rent…but that’s just giving someone else my money instead of investing it for myself. Anyway, hope it turns well soon man.
Sounds pretty rough man. Hope it works out for you too. My dad was never able to buy another place after his divorce. He’d be trying to live on retirement savings now so I’m kinda glad he doesn’t have this to worry about.
Overnight last Friday I got slammed with the flu. Went to bed with a tickle in my throat, and was awakened less than two hours later from a sweaty, high-fever-driven disjointed nightmare. Rocked with body and head aches, the rest of the night was sleepless. The weekend was a misery of high-fever, chills, body and head aches, sore throat, painful coughing, brain fog, and exhaustion. Started turning the corner on Monday to the point that this morning fever and brain fog are fully lifted…cough remains but is productive, not painful, aches and pains evaporated.
Whenever I move away from the nadir of an illness, it becomes impossible to remember how badly I felt in its worst depths. The delirium that crosses wakefulness and invades dreams, just fully restless, unable to focus, the pain, discomfort…the distance of time just seems to erase the memory of it.
I am humbled by it, reminded how lucky I am that illness is the anomaly for me, and it makes me resolve to act with gratitude for the normal health I have been arbitrarily gifted.
Just want to send big big hugs and thoughts toward anyone whose physical well-being is suffering.
My cat just got a cancer diagnosis. We’ll have the full test results next week, but the vet is not projecting any remission. He will have to be on meds for the rest of his life, which they expect to be one to three more years
That sucks. Enjoy every snuggle.
He is gone now. My boy
We got him from the shelter when he was 3 years old. He was an owner turn-in, and was so frightened that he hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in three days (etetnal hatred to all who send their pets to a shelter while they still have the physical/mental/financial wherewithal to support them).
He had ten years with us, hopefully good ones. He was never less than neurotic, but would come out to get pets and to play, even teaching himself to fetch. He only got noticeably sick in the last two months.
He had a seizure on Thursday with labored breathing after. We took him to the emergency vet, who couldn’t tell if he had blood clots, lung failure, heart failure, or brain cancer. The prognosis was maybe some months to live, in pain and with much medication. We didn’t want his last days to be suffering, so planned an at-home euthanasia.
Less than two hours before the appointment, he seized again. The service told us to go to the emergency vet. He was supposed to die in his home, at peace. Instead, we put him to sleep in a strange office. At least we could be with him til the end.
Goodbye Scoutopher Cribbins McGillicuddy [last name], the Goodest Boy, Little Baby Man, Mommy’s Little Cryptid, Brother of Miss Murder Mittens Sadie Doyle, Hunter of Plastic Crinkle Balls, Napper in Closets, who needed breakfast 15 minutes before the morning alarms go off and snuggles in the the precise spot in bed with the exact arrangement of covers. Impossible child. Thirteen years was not enough. We love you, always
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My heart is breaking for you and I’m so sorry man. Fuck. You have no idea how much I understand.
So sorry for your loss
So sorry for your loss. In time you will have nothing but good memories.
Sending lots of love my friend. Sounds like you gave that sweet boy an amazing life.
Very sorry to hear especially with how quickly this came about.
I’m glad you found each other and were there for him, especially with what he went through as a turn-in.
Can’t be easy. Sorry for your loss
My almost 17-yo son is now a student.
In an “intensive foundation degree”, so he will have to learn to work.
In Nantes, a bigger city which is 90 mn drive from where we live.
We left him in his tiny student bedroom yesterday night.
He went to see some other student and we haven’t heard of him since.
You would think this little ingrate would even leave a word to say he’s ok? Not a fucking word!
His mother was furious/panicked, I had much trouble to let her come to the conclusion we have to let him be.
I don’t think I have ever felt this frightened for him, I know for a fact he isn’t ready yet. And that there is nothing I can do now for helping him further, apart from answering his requests for assistance, if any.
So yeah, trying to give in.
Heart-wrenching.
I feel for you. I don’t think anyone is ever truly ready for being dropped into it. I generally approach life with the sink or swim mentality, and hope, not expectations, that everything will work itself out. Often times in life, the best version of us comes out when we are pushed to the edge in those survival mode situations. That’s where self-sufficiency comes from. I think you will find that with time your son will reach out for chatter/advice as he goes through and relates to experiences that he realizes you may have also gone through.
Side note: I learned myself awhile back to not be so hard on the behavior of younger people. It turns out that a mature cognitive empathy is typically developed around ages 19-25. That’s not to say to ignore it, but something to be wary of when it comes to the behavior that doesn’t consider the feelings of family etc.
I personally believe I have started to develop it when having my son, 17 years ago.
So for me, it all started around 30 years old, I’m pretty sure of it.
This window is closed. Well, maybe he’ll ask me to fix a thing. But a personal advice? I could bet both arms he will never ask me for an advice. I have given him way too many already…
I remember myself unconsciously ignoring my dad after leaving home. Totally involuntary, I was just having fun. After one or two weeks at a time I’d get a message on my answering machine from him asking if I needed any money. I didn’t, but I’d get the message loud and clear, “Call me you little bastard!” And I would.
I remember that day! It’s scary to say the least. It’s amazing how we grow and adapt when it’s a necessity! My wife was super nervous but all worked out, kinda, little prick almost failed out.
Now he’s graduated and how I wish I could send him back!
