Shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends…
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This. Out of sight out of mind.
It’s v unrewarding to see tons of gear that you don’t have a deep knowledge and understanding of.
Having just one or two devices hooked up at a time does wonders.
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100% felt the shame/guilt. Sold everything off and left myself with a MacBook, Push and an OP1F as my “naughty treat” device. Been feeling much better since despite not using the OP1F enough.
Not advocating for folk to sell everything or suggesting it will guarantee happy happy land but it worked out nicely for me after going through multiple gear/shame cycles.
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Yeah I wanted to do that but I couldn’t part with my a4 and md….those were my lockdown darlings…
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I’ve had a similar feeling recently.
So, yesterday I cleaned my synths desk and synths. It was way overdue. Anyway, as I’m dusting, I’m looking at a few fabulous devices I own that people lust for. And, there was a brief moment of guilt (for lack of a better word) that they haven’t all been used that much in the past 18 months (as I’ve mostly just used an M8)… I don’t think it’s a case of any regret, but moreso the sentiment I should be utilising this stuff more…
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Very much this. I won’t go as far as saying I got depressed over it, that’d be extreme, but I absolutely did get down about it to the point that it sapped creativity and I eventually kind of couldn’t stand being in the same room as the gear I had collected!
You’d think I would have learned my lesson but I repeated the build up of equipment and eventual sell off 2 or 3 more times! 
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I feel like I have too much stuff. Not so much shame as “ugh” because deaccessioning is less fun work than acquisition. But it must be done.
Size is deceptive, though. I’d rather have some big, usable synths than tiny ones, so the tradeoff is it has to take up some space.
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Yup
I have been down the ‘sell everything and buy it back again route’ several times
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My gear is ashamed of me for sure.
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No Gear New Year has helped a lot for me. Underuse has always been my main source of shame, but after NGNY I’ve been selling down to a level I feel comfortable with. And NGNY has helped me learn the stuff I have better, and reduce GAS.
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gearshaming detected.
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Sorry to be that guy, but the Big Lebowski couldn’t stand up 
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I’m ashamed I don’t have more.
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Good question … but no … and my studio is quite full … and I love them all 
But there is some sadness that some instruments are waiting long time unused … 
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It’s a shame that I don’t have room for more…
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This is the sinking ship I live on too
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This is tricky. I use gear in waves. A month or two of being fully into Deluge. Then OT. Then m8. Then op-1, which I love passionately now, but didn’t really love for the first few years. So some things can go untouched for months but rarely forever, if it’s forever I’d probably sell. The best would be a pool with friends but, don’t know, my brothers in the same town have lots of kit too, we rarely pass things between us other than things we’ve abandoned but not yet sold. I think it’s because you’re always thinking you might get the itch for one workflow at a moment’s notice.
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“One’s library should therefore contain not just what one knows, but much more of what one doesn’t yet know.”
I’ve felt this shame you’re speaking of. Getting into modular really forced a new understanding and relationship to gear lust, and the ‘need’ to acquire. I’ve somehow worked through a lot of the negative emotions around having ample instruments, so will offer a few of my views on it.
First, personally, I want everything out and potentially usable even if I don’t in a session. I get the idea of putting stuff away and only focusing on 1-2 machines. Some of my best times are taking a single Elektron device away and the liberation in getting lost in the world of that particular device. And that exercise can also start that whole internal conversation of “I could actually ONLY have a couple of these and be fine”. But that’s not where I’m at. It’s a luxury to have options, and I’ve spent so much time selecting purchases, that I don’t want to just purge them, often and mostly well before it feels like I’ve fully explored and utilized them (hence the above article). So, I therefore accept the decisions I’ve made and let any negative feelings be softened by the fact that I can grow old mining these machines with or without the need for any more. It’s comforting actually.
Second, I think of treating the studio like a garden, where each plant needs different care. Maybe they thrive in different seasons, or require different watering routines. I think making deliberate efforts to tend to this or that machine, with the DESIRE to connect with it, can really help dissipate the feeling of being underutilized. Like the Digitone for instance. I bought one a while ago in a spur of the moment purchase because it was suspiciously cheap. After the first initial couple sessions, it’s been under used for the most part. But that’s one piece where I often feel like ‘I just want to hang out with the DN today’. And not in a way that I’m going to ‘figure it out’ per se, but really meet it on it’s own terms and clock a bit of learned time with it. I think like so much of life, finding ways to cultivate appreciation (gratitude) for the eccentricities and small things is important. I had this thing happen with modular that I never had experienced after years playing with stand alone synths and Ableton. After some early, long modular sessions when I was just getting familiar with my system, I would often have this almost euphoric feeling as I slowly clicked the power off, of taking a deep breath and saying ‘WOW’. Just wow at the fact I came out of hearing so much timbral variety. Wow at the fact this thing reveals something new each time. And wow at the fact it’s now here, in front of me, to take my time with over the years and glean from it what I don’t even know is possible yet. Much like this library of unread books!
Anyhow, I know this is all so personal, how we go about visualizing our relationship to this stuff. But I do believe that it’s a great opportunity and context to see the power of our perspective and how it can shape our relationship to things. Come from a place of LOVE with your gear. Even LOVE the aesthetics of the machines that aren’t being used. It sounds so trite, but why not. Just an appreciation for being surrounded by these things you were inspired to bring into your life, and having the quiet trust that in due time they’ll yield what you sought them for. And a respect for the fact you may not even know what you sought them for! Slow the rush, slow the NEED for more results, and ease into the feeling of accumulating explorative moments over time. Give over to growing old with your gear, and embrace that maybe you are at an earlier stage with much of it. I am too, so be it. That’s a much more exciting place to be than on the tail end of feeling you’ve exhausted what’s there is to find!
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Consumerism should never be without a slew of sources to modulate one’s rationalizations.
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This is deep thank you I need time to digest!
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