Funk Lore

Open_Mike · 2016-06-17T22:39:40.208Z

Funk upon a time
In the days of the Funkapus
The concept of specially-designed Afronauts
Capable of funkatizing galaxies
Was first laid on man-child
But was later repossessed
And placed among the secrets of the pyramids
Until a more positive attitude
Towards this most sacred phenomenon
Clone tha Funk
Could be acquired

There in these terrestrial projects
It would wait, along with its co-inhabitants of kings and pharaohs
Like sleeping beauties with a kiss
That would release them to multiply
In the image of the chosen one:
Dr Funkenstein
And funk is its own reward…

Open_Mike · 2016-06-17T22:46:28.493Z

I believe the OT may hold secrets of the Funkapus and possibly be the key to once again funkatizing galaxies and the return of Clone tha Funk!

tomes · 2016-06-18T15:27:42.510Z

Kasi · 2016-07-07T20:34:01.424Z

you cant fake the funk or your nose will grow

on a mission to funk the perfect groove

carl

CubanB · 2017-03-31T04:21:45.534Z

Ya can’t hold no groove if you ain’t got no pocket!

Open_Mike · 2017-03-31T16:51:43.266Z

Microbiologically speaking,
When I start churnin’, burnin’ and turnin’
I’ll make your atoms move so fast
Expandin’ your molecules
Causing a friction fire
Burnin’ you on your neutron
Causing you to scream
“Hit me in the proton, BABY!”

orangehexagon · 2017-03-31T19:49:53.324Z

cool story bro

Kasi · 2017-04-02T09:55:48.663Z

open_mike
your doing it right
lol
the elektron funk starts pump
an acid beat starts to jump
detroit ambience dreams away
as a square wave baseline
grooves the mind
so sublime
as the snare rolls
and you just know
a lucid atmosphere
rocks the place
i take to flight with a smiling face
grooving and releasing the mind
the snare roll lets me go
bodys movin
as that square wave baseline is groovin
dancing the mind
in an other
place and time
the love takes over

Kasi · 2017-04-02T10:21:02.967Z

yo CubanB bust this …lol

ya can’t hold no groove if you aint got no pocket
the elektron sound ,is gonna rockit
p-lock it
and future shock it
pounding baselines ,a ride cymbal this time
sequenced fine ,will blow your mind
an LFO
ahh ohh
here we go
an analog 4/4/ is sure to give it some more
starting to trip
the beat ,and freak
and all to the rhythm
a rare groove loop comes in to win
and we begin to smile
some ambience opens up things for miles and miles
for smiles and smiles

Open_Mike · 2017-04-02T15:03:07.933Z

Are you hip to Easter Island?
The Bermuda Triangle?
Well, all right
Ain’t nothing but a party…

CubanB · 2017-04-04T15:04:32.151Z

Yes!!

CubanB · 2017-04-04T15:05:36.909Z

Thanks for the positive post orangehexagon, that creative criticism is how we reach the top!

Open_Mike · 2017-04-04T15:33:50.029Z

THE FUNK WARS (1984 B.C.)

(ONCE UPON A TIME… in a faraway parallel universe, existed a intergalactic humbug between the forces of GOOD and EVILE’ and on Planet Splurge, FUNK become the FORCE to alter the cosmos beyond the limits of time and dimension!)
JASPER SPATIC was finished with his new weapon, and the outcome of the negafunkatic FUNK WARS would hinge on its power. His Throb Gun would be used against the evilous BARFT VADA, the ruthless fuzzident of the enslaving MEDULLA OBLUNGATA DOODOOS. Armed with stinkafyng Dookie Sticks Blight Sabers, the DooDoos kept the population of several planets under their rule. Now – Jasper prepared to unite with his Funkadelican dooDoo Chasers; he could not risk being ambushed by a Dookie Squad and being fried by their seething volleys of pissgun rays…
SPATIC stepped into the streets, his creation carefully hidden. He shuddered as he scoped everyoneunder DooDoo Syndrome. Vada’s massive program of mind control had constipated the masses…their minds were being zero’d out by constipated notions. Electric crinkloidism and advertising propaganda combined with drugnotics (woo drinks, devil dust, Ps’ & Poos, Deludes and profile pills)…the unaware Splurgians were rapidly losing their funkativity!
But Jasper Spatic and his fellow DooDoo Chasers were impervious to the D.D.S. and through the Funkadelican scruples of ‘Prune Juice of the Mind’…would the people be refunked into toppling Barft Vada’s Empire. The DoDoo Chasers would strike at the first D’ Voidofunk Disco, where BARFT VADA was sure to be present. (Vada’s disco ban of ‘82, enacted to prevent the now-illegal music of FUNKADELICA from deprogramming the population – gave his DooDoo scientists to perfect a diszak system to mantain mental constipation.) Agents from S.I.A. (Sick Intelligence Agency) and Dookie Squads within the disco were unawareof the DooDoo Chasers who had merged into the crowds. They awaited for the first notes of diszak for the cue-vamp. Jasper glanced at a co-patriot, heliotart Pussooka Goodee and secretly flashed the ‘P’ for their uniting motto: “Give us funkativity or give us death!”
The noxious Barft entered Disco Control and the defunkatizing drone of diszak filled the blaflammic discosphere. Jasper whipped out his Throb Gun and the vampin’ spat shattered the diszak booth. Other funkateers zapped the Dookie Squads with funkguns, and seized a strategic location to circuit-override the sound system and the neoburpic diszak sounds retrofired into funkastomping octave throbs! “No compute, no compute!” shrieks the smoking headsets of the blastified dooDoos…without Vada’s commanding audio-stench, they were nullified. Barft vada fled to his everready pimpajet and scamped into the dark void as the masses were ‘P’ed from their cerebral nods into revolt. The DooDoo Chasers had overfunked the system into collapse!
Planet Splurge had soon become ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE and the forces of Funkadelica prevailed. As the happy populations of other planets rejoiced with their liberation…Jasper and Pussooka were crashatated at their crazoid crib, sooted by the Clintonic sonic waves of the spankatron box…but even the spekled sugarness of Pussooka swoop n’ cup curvables did not remove Jasper’s new fear: would Vada return with more Constipated Notions? Worse yet, would the Dookie-Sticked defunkulator ambush some othr galaxy and enslave yet another population? Before slipperous and bubbly waves of strokativity funked him from his mental station-I.D….Jasper pondered the thought of what would happen the next time…when a planet’s mentor would warn citizens of Barft Vada’s presence with: THINK! IT AIN’T ILLEGAL YET!-Would they wake up in time?

Kasi · 2017-04-09T11:52:59.863Z

thank you open _mike for reminding us of the truth of the funk…lol… the ancient way OF THE GROOVE…and of those we owe a debt to…PARLIAMENT ,JAMES BROWN,THE J.B,S…our ancestral masters of the funk…many times as elektron users we end up getting lost in l.f.o.tweeking and we end up with some mental technical stuff but it just aint groovin its mental and technical …itsgotta groove the funk…and move the mind body spirit

this is the ancient sacred law of the funkiverse.

lol

Open_Mike · 2017-04-09T15:46:12.603Z

Citizens of the Universe, Recording Angels,
We have returned to claim the Pyramids.
Partying on the Mothership.

Gettin down in 3-D
Light year groovin

Kasi · 2017-04-09T16:37:57.072Z

nice …lol

Open_Mike · 2017-04-09T16:40:54.547Z

lol!, lol!

Chinchilla · 2017-04-11T08:30:30.769Z

https://www.google.co.uk/search?client=ms-android-tmobile-gb&biw=360&bih=265&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=lo_sWP7-EsiOgAanxIboBQ&q=george+clinton+the+mothership+connection&oq=george+clinton+the+mo&gs_l=mobile-gws-img.1.1.0j0i24k1.140573.146223.0.151345.17.16.0.1.1.0.185.1891.2j13.15.0…0…1c.1j4.64.mobile-gws-img…1.16.1955…35i39k1j0i13i30k1j0i13k1j0i67k1j0i8i30k1.epBqTyyLFYw#imgrc=Mf4me5cErIQtBM:

George is one of my lifelong heroes. Up there with the best live shows i’ve ever seen. He’s still groovin’! Saw him again only last year. 3 hour show. The purist, funkiest circus you’ll ever see.
I cannot urge you all strongly enough to go see Dr. Funkenstein, again and again and AGAIN!
My studio is named “The Mothership” in his honour.

20170121_114349.jpg4249×2390 2.34 MB

We love to funk you, Funkenstein,
Your funk is the best,
Take my body, give it the mind,
To funk with the rest!

Open_Mike · 2017-06-02T16:03:10.691Z

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Open_Mike · 2017-07-04T20:57:57.877Z

Travel like a king,
Listen to the inner voice,
A higher wisdom is at work for you.
Conqering the stumbling blocks come easier
When the conqueror is in tune with the infinite.
Every ending is a new beginning,
Life is an endless unfoldment.
Change your mind, and you change your relation to time.
You can find the answer,
The solution lies within the problem
The answer is in every question…
Dig it?
An attitude is all you need to rise and walk away.
Inspire yourself,
Your life is yours,
It fits you like your skin…
The oak sleeps in the acorn,
The giant sequoia tree sleeps in its tiny seed.
The bird waits in the egg,
God waits for his unfoldment in man…
Fly on, children
Play on
You gravitate to that which you secretly love most,
You meet in life the exact reproduction of your own thoughts.
There is no chance, coincidence or accident.
In a world ruled by law and divine order,
You rise as high as your dominant aspiration,
You descend to the level of your lowest concept of your self.
Free your mind and your ass will follow…
The infinite intelligence within you knows the answers,
Its nature is to respond to your thoughts…
Be careful of the thought-seeds you plant in the garden of your mind,
For seeds grow after their kind…
Play on, children
Every thought felt as true,
Or allowed to be accepted as true by your conscious mind,
Take roots in your subconscious,
Blossoms sooner or later into an act,
And bears its own fruit…
Good thoughts bring forth good fruit,
Bullshit thoughts rot your meat…
Think right, and you can fly.
The kingdom of heaven is within,
Free your mind, and your ass will follow…
Play on, children
Sing on, lady