I took a few years off to get married and do drugs,
I know that I’m divorced and getting back into music I’m kind of having a hard time with it, I don’t remember what I used to do
I used to do stuff like this, pretty random stuff
open your daw or power on your hardware and just start experimenting. find your new and improved style. things should start coming back to you. they may not come back to you the way you remember but i firmly believe that the muscle memory when it comes to making music can always be summoned. may take time so just have fun designing sound or making a million shit drum loops until it all starts to click in a cohesive manor once again.
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also here’s an interesting and inspiring read i feel should be shared. https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/tokimonsta-lost-speaking-and-musical-abilities-after-brain-surgery-this-is-how-she-regained-them/
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Looks interesting I will give it a read,
Also I figure I have to get back into producing music cuz without it I’m just a poor pretentious asshole, but if I’m actually producing music then I’m just artistic, people are like oh so that’s why you act that way You’re a producer,
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I assume you’re joking here
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I found out, from my own experience, that once I’m older, my brain are not the same - the way I can get into “the zone” has changed, my taste has changed, etc., etc. So, I wouldn’t worry much if I were you, nor would I try to get into the same pattern of creating music. I’m quite sure you’ll find a way to make music again, but it probably won’t be the same old way you’re used to. You’ll just have to accept that, and it will come. 
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Are you still doing the drugs ?
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I wondered this. ha.
My experience is that whatever you are doing in your life will be reflected in the music you are creating.
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Make what ever you can at first
No not really anymore, I was mainly just doing those cuz I was married and it made it a little bit more fun, but it got boring after a while so I kind of cut it out
I do like to drink quite a bit when I’m making music though, It kind of makes listening to the same pattern looping for 2 hours a little bit more tolerable,
like in the old days I’d either sit there and fuck around with music while drinking and maybe have some friends over whatever and just fuck around with it but now all my friends are old,
I guess the issue was it seemed like in the past I had a ton of motivation and I would do it everyday and I guess I’m just having a hard time getting back into that kind of passion about it I mean I really enjoy it when I do it but it’s like I’m rarely in the mood it seems , but I still really want to do it it’s kind of odd
Also sometimes my posts sound like I’m on drugs sometimes, but really I’m just a jerk and weird
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Give yourself a set time to sit there and start something even when you don’t want to. Start doing this daily and eventually it’ll become a positive habit. And as you say, once you get going, you have a good time.
Sometimes it’s helpful to remember that, more so than most instruments imo, synthesis is about exploration. You have to remember to love the process of exploring, cause if the only reason for doing it is the end result, then you are going to have a short journey. Let’s be honest, on a good day only about 10% of anyone’s art is worth keeping. Fall into exploration and the truth about who you are, and what that means in your life now that you are older, will reveal itself, and the frustration of a lack of direction will disappear. Like @craig is saying, it’s gotta be a habit first.
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Try recreating your fave old self made track with your current gear , it might get those old memories back of how / why you used to do it.
Write 10 ideas.
Spend no more than 2 hours per idea. You need to be strict.
Review the 10 ideas when you are done. Delete the ones that are no good (this is normally at least 8).
Finish what’s left.