the guy on the far left looks like he did it already…
2 Likes
true story:
buddy of mine turned 50 today. told him i didnt wanna buy a cake cause i would have spent more on the candles.
4 Likes
Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!"
“Well,” the man replied, “at least I’m not an adult living in my father’s basement…”
8 Likes
Did i tell my deja-vu joke already?
7 Likes
I feel like you might have, back in June
2 Likes
Why should you always invite ghosts to your party?
Because they bring all the boos.
8 Likes
Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me the other day.
I was like, “What the Hellmann!”
12 Likes
Scientists have finally figured out how to weigh a rainbow. Turns out it’s pretty light.
9 Likes
What’s @micabeza’s favorite mode?
Aiolian
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What’s @Juniper_Steels favorite mode?
Mix-a-little-in 
4 Likes
Two nuns riding their bicycles down a cobblestone road.
One looks around and says to the other, “I don’t think I’ve ever come this way before.”
The other looks at her and says, “must be the cobblestones.”
4 Likes
Did you hear about the man that replaced his bed with a trampoline?
His wife hit the roof.