Sometimes we´ll/you´ll have up and downs. I´ve heard it´s called: life. And it is dangerous to live, you could even die of it. Somewhat a joke as well as being true.
I happen to play guitar since age of 10-12. And are now, at age 36, at a level where I´m comfortable playing anything that´s from me and ‘my heart’. But that´s also all that I can, and have unconsciously practiced in those 20+ years.
My woman at home thinks it´s a bit strange that I can´t play any traditional songs, not even really famous christmas songs. I mean, technically I am most probably able to take the cords and whatever. I can´t read and play by notation, but are able to figure out which note is which if someone would put a paper in front of me. But it would take time and doesn´t interest me at all. All I´m interested in is ‘expressing’ myself. That I won´t find in any paper in front of me. Ever.
Do I know what I am doing all the time when I´m playing? No. I just play something.
Do I need to know it? No. I just play something.
Do I know if it´s good? No. Because I´ve just played something. Or are about to.
Do I know that it was me? Well, if something came when I was there. I guess it was me.
So, how do I know anything at all of above and how can I use it?
Well, I certainly am better and worse than anyone else in playing. It depends on which viewpoint I take. There will always be someone better as well as someone worse in the skill of guitar playing.
But what THEY don´t have that I still have is: me.
I am the best one in being me. Have been all my life.
And so are you. No one else than each of you have been so good in being just you. So whatever you choose to do or not to do, is: you. Whatever you choose to play or not to play, is: you. It´s your expression of yourself at that very time. And that is your strenght.
Now, what´s left to be needed?
Answer: taste. Yours that is. The very taste that you´ve grown your entire life. You certainly like and dislike some stuff. Because if you are not, I guess you are… dead?
So if you don´t know what to play/do. Just do something. Did it come effortlessly and is inspiring, in short: did you like it? Continue in following taste, your taste. Did it come with much struggle and uninspiring, in short: you dislike it? Continue in following your taste to somewhere else, and play/do something else. Your taste is your guide, it always have been… so let it be that. It´s there for you. It sort of is you, it defines you (at least for yourself). And when you hit onto something that suddenly is inspiring: I am betting that it is your taste recognizing it.
Many of the inspiring things that have happened to me when I´m playing guitar, have been when I´ve asked myself: “what happens if I do this?” and then just play/do it ‘fearlessly’… (and what´s the worst thing that could happen? that someone else doesn´t like it? isn´t that a opinion at second place, after your own?)
It´s starts with an idea and ends with the taste. My idea? = my taste!. So far, I haven´t hit onto anything that killed me. No need of drugs, my ideas and my taste is addictive enough (for me). Especially the good ones. One of the very best ideas is to continue with life to see the even better ideas coming. They certainly won´t come if I am not trying, right?
In playing with others, you may notice that above still applies. It´s just that when you hit onto those around that actually inspires you, they levitates you. All you can hope and try to is to do the same and levitate them. And that takes some practice too.
Depressions and/or other issues aren´t something to ignore. It´s there in your body/mind for a reason. Sometimes, professional help is needed. Sometimes not. I guess it´s a bit similar as to learning to play an instrument. Sometimes, professional help is needed. Sometimes not. In both cases I guess it is your taste telling you something…
