There’s a bit of a self-asserting fallacy among artists and musicians that output equals legitimacy but, throughout history, progress over time has been an equally prevalent model for some of the greats.
Hidden here is a rather lengthy in-depth personal take on CFS and what someone might do in an attempt to mitigate the condition, both psychologically and in practice.
A case study for giving yourself a break:
Leonardo Da Vinci was probably a busy guy, spread himself pretty thin with all of his activities and thus of his only twenty four attributed “major works” (paintings) only 8 are universally accepted as him having completed them autonomously within his 67 year lifetime. Of those 8 major works, three (including the Mona Lisa, a 14 year long art project) are considered “unfinished” and the rest of the 24 are all either disputed or only accepted as collaborative works.
This is a person of unparalleled genius and ingenuity who we are still in awe of 600 years later, uncontested as a master, and while his catalogue included a bunch of dawless jams and incredible four bar loops, the total number of tracks he created that were not co-produced by others, the stuff that really mattered, comes down to those 8 works and a handful of (7) others which are “widely accepted” as him having been the sole or principle contributor.
If you compare Da Vinci “by the numbers” to someone like Michaelangelo, an artist who often worked on incredibly time-consuming projects done in marble or painting the entire ceiling of the Sistine chapel, an artist who has closer to 80 attributed major works including architecture but excluding his many drawings, poetry etc. then the output of Da Vinci over his 67-year lifetime (even though Michaelangelo lived to be 88) is dwarfed in comparison.
So, Leonardo: Was the guy sitting around doing nothing? No. Was he always doing something that we could consider creative or innovative? Mostly, yes. Was he less genuine or meaningful as an artist than Michaelangelo, another master, who had an exponentially higher output? Absolutely not. Ultimately, is there a lesson that I can learn about myself from someone of talent which is arguably far superior to my own? Absolutely I can.
The first step is to give yourself a break and realize that life happens and continues happening despite our aspirations, lifelong or temporary. The easiest way to enjoy and be productive with your time is to be doing something you want to do with it. If what you want to do feels like a chore, either reassess what you’re doing or analyze the way that you’re doing it because somewhere between intent and execution there’s a disconnect occurring.
Forcing yourself to regularly do something is a good way to build a habit (and sometimes inspiration can become cyclical, so that something random which inspires us in those routines can then continue inspiring us as it branches out into new offshoots of that original inspiration) but in practice, our most blissful experiences with creation often feel like some intense moment of divine inspiration where a virtual hand is guiding us towards success outside of our own participation.
Then with age, for most of us, those moments of highly focused inspiration seem to come at intervals fewer and farther between, leading to a mindset similar to your definition of CFS. Some of our favorite musical artists may in fact be totally uninspired, but by dedicating their entire lives to something, being in the habit of regularly outputting music and possessing a unique skillset, they’re accomplishing something at what feels like a discount compared to the personal cost that we attribute to follow through and success in that field.
Best practices are always good to share and can often unlock small windows of clarity in our own struggles for self-affirming legitimacy, but don’t discount the powers of perspective and self-assessment as huge opportunities to be mentally prepared to do what you want when you’re inspired to do it, or even achieving better results when you’re simply forcing yourself to be creative.
By legitimizing yourself and your method, or your output, you allow yourself to get past the CFS stage. CFS is a form of “shit or get off the pot” and sorry to be vulgar but quite literally if you don’t have time to or feel that you can’t complete something within the allotted time available, we will often creatively “clench up” and then nothing comes out, and then we’re of course compelled to get back to working on something different which is not at all the thing that we wanted to be productive in, but where we’re able to feel and accept that our productivity and output existed.
We put ourselves into a mode which simultaneously questions and denies the validity of our self-identification as that entity we expect to be, in this case it happens to be musicians, but this is a more common coping / denial type behavior than just in the creative fields, it’s something common to many humans, many of us here, many people everywhere in many vocations. This is the universal self-denial which keeps the dreamers in check (and in truth, is sometimes necessary).
Working towards “a cure”:
The first step to any major conscientious change in behavior or self-initiated metamorphosis is often going to be reframing your own mentality so that you’re prepared to accept the change when and if it comes. So often do we deny ourselves and our own legitimacy, that our attempts to move in the desired direction make us feel more like we’re imposters for not immediately being
that thing and thus come at the cost of our own productivity.
So, aside from waxing philosophical, what are some practices that might help take this knowledge and put it into action? First would be acknowledging that it’s ok for you to have your own rate of output, whatever that may be. Legitimize your efforts by actually making efforts even if you aren’t immediately satisfied with the results. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by saying “I need to make music at a desk” or “I can’t make music at a desk”. If it feels like a couch day, then bring something to the couch. Take the struggle out of it by making it easy to be immediately creative.
If you can easily pluck something out of your setup and take it with you to the couch, or into the backyard, or wherever you might want to be, so that you don’t lose inspiration just looking at all the cables you have to connect or disconnect etc. then it can help with that overwhelming feeling of “this is more work than watching something on youtube” which is often followed by “let’s just see what other musicians on youtube are doing” seeking inspiration in the direction of our interest so that it feels like “I’m still sort of doing what I was originally intending to do by pursuing knowledge and inspiration from that general category.” which often satiates us of our immediate thirst but manifests later as guilt for having been unproductive in terms of measurable results.
What are some definitive practices that I can immediately put into action:
Well it depends, maybe you need a few powerbanks around so that you can take hardware to the couch, maybe you need an open/closed sign that you put on your desk so when you’re done working you can flip it to “closed” and say out loud “I’m closed for business” so that when you see this symbol, it reminds you that the obligation to code is over for the day and release yourself from that obligation and mindset. Maybe if your primary interface for music production is a laptop, immediately change your wallpaper or your color theme to something that is not synonymous with work when you’re done working.
What is the actual problem and why is it so hard to stay focused?:
We live in a culture where people literally stop searching for shit online after two clicks, there was some study to this effect, that people become discouraged if they don’t find what they’re looking for within a couple clicks of the mouse which is why I assume that I end up answering so many technical questions here on elektronauts for people where it has taken me exactly 3 clicks to find the information they’re requesting and then a shitload of typing on my part to convey what I’ve learned back to them.
In defense of other people, I do have an incredibly high measured reading comprehension which helps me filter out the important parts of what I’ve read, and I don’t mind doing community service on elektronauts so it doesn’t bother me if I’m able to help someone get past a bump in the road. I don’t fault people for seeking answers, I do however feel better if they’ve first attempted to answer their own questions as it speaks to the desire to grow and not just a desire to continue.
What is the point if everything that we try demotivates us?:
So, what’s the lesson to be learned from a two-click culture? What can we learn about ourselves from this very basic and embarrassing common human trait of “This is hard, let’s give up”?This short scene from around 20 minutes into the 1994 film PCU comes to mind, where these burnouts are supposed to be putting fliers up around campus for a paid admission houseparty which they’re throwing to raise money for rent so that they don’t get evicted, and then the smallest inconvenience causes them to quit trying to put up the fliers, even though it’s super important to everyone involved.
The lesson is to put yourself within 2 clicks of success in things which you want to be successful in. If inspiration hits, then the first click could be to pick something up (a guitar, the octatrack, a keyboard, whatever), and then the second click could be something as simple as to turn it on.
Whatever the process is, try and have it set so that it’s as simple as possible to engage with your motivation, like laying out an outfit the night before (I don’t do that, but some people do) and anything beyond that is background noise which can literally separate you from that motivation, and that’s why it needs to be filtered out. There are enough distractions already in place which can’t be adjusted to keep ones in our way which can be improved upon.
It doesn’t literally have to be 2 clicks, but this philosophy of “strike while the iron is hot” is so universally important to following through on commitments to yourself. Commitments to other people often have a measurable consequence or a “healthy stress” kind of motivation, where there is a pressure to complete a task because we are accountable for it, but accountability to ourselves often manifests in a wider degree of negotiation towards what will cause us to give up on what we want, resulting in lowered feelings of self-worth and ultimately a tolerance for not succeeding which impacts our ability to take action.
On a personal level:
I’ve battled this scenario for years and I have extensive thoughts about the subject even beyond the obscene amount which I seem to have written here, but it’s all been to trick myself into not getting trapped in the “this is hard, let’s give up” mind-state and I would say that it works about 40% of the time and I’m in my mid 40’s so it’s like, if anything was going to work it probably already would have.
My official output is super low, but the projects that I do get invested in feel more meaningful and I actually want to put the extra effort into them, I just have to have to work at my own pace and remind myself that some progress is better than no progress.
I’ve also been working on not comparing the actual end product to that of other people in an A/B type of measurement because it’s really easy to feel like you’re a piece of shit when other people are so obviously talented, and that’s actually a really easy mindset to cause a person to become unmotivated.
A conclusion? :
I’ll end this by saying that if you know something is important to you and that you want to do it, then you already have more direction than most people. By then finding a path between where you are and where what you want exists, you then take the guesswork out of how to get there. At that point, getting there is the only remaining challenge, and it can indeed be harrowing or not as smooth of a journey in practice as it is on paper, but simply by heading in a known direction you build inertia. Eventually, even taking small steps will carry you infinitely further than the distance achieved by standing in one place.
Hopefully this is not too much at once to be helpful, but either way, best of luck to you on your journey.
