Oh wow, it’s so nice to see someone who cares so much for animals and has genuine affection for them. I lost my cat once too, she almost died once and we made an operation but then she disappeared a few years later. Put up posters, until someone came over and said they saw someone run her over in anger. I looked on the road and saw her fur. I am glad someone called the service, I’d hate to see her in that bad of a shape.
Years later I came by a dog with similar features, both had their tails cut off by cruel people. Similar colors and behavior. I wonder…
I still have another cat and this new dog which is like my best friend now.
All I am saying, the fact that you love your cat so much, you can find solace knowing that your love benefited your cat and that love will return to you some day in one form or another. But it’s good what you are doing, you have to let yourself grief over your friend, after all your feelings for your cat were as real as they come. Stay strong, buddy.